2 Secrets To Creating More Intimacy in Bed!

What’s the secret to ongoing intimacy, in and OUT of the bedroom? Most couples agree that they feel more emotionally, mentally, and physically connected with each other, after a good romp in the sack. But generally that yummy feeling of … Continue reading

Tantric “Sluts” or Living Goddesses: Why it Matters

Tantra Workshops, Personal Coaching

Really Powerful Article written by Body Divine Yoga. “Tantriks saw the body not as bondage but as the gateway to power, freedom, ecstasy and bliss. They dove “deep into ocean of the passions in order to harvest the pearls of … Continue reading

3 Differences Between Masturbation and Self-Pleasure

Devi Ward TantraI read an article recently by a woman describing the differences between how men fantasize about us masturbating, and how most of us women actually do masturbate, which she described as a somewhat half-hazard, fast and furtive process.

Her description of female masturbation seemed very similar to the way a 14 year old boy probably masturbates, under the covers at night, stifling his sounds of pleasure, hoping -to -god no one comes in before he’s finished.

Hell, forget a 14 year old boy, that sounds like the masturbation modus operandis of most adults I know, both men and women.

Minding our P’s and Q’s…Privately, Quietly and Quickly!

Which got me to thinking about the differences between masturbation and self-pleasure.

Masturbation of course, would be the familiar scenario which I described above- one which 99.9% of adult humans can probably relate to.

So what is self-pleasuring? And how (besides the name), does it differ from our usual self-stroking?

#1) The first difference is my state of mind.

We have been taught as a society that self-stimulation is shameful, wrong, dirty, embarassing, etc.

We know that people do it, (especially men), and it’s accepted that they do, but it’s frequently thought of as a way to release physical and emotional “urges”.

Essentially a way to get rid of “too much” energy or emotional agitation. A form of stress release. Which yes, absolutely it is.

But that’s not ALL self-stimualtion can be used for- as just a genital pressure valve so to speak.

If we approach self-stimualtion from only that angle, our focus is mostly on the end result of the journey, and not on the sweet subtle communications of our body, which occur along the road to orgasm.

These subtle fluctuations of pleasure, energy and arousal are a sort of language, and when we take the time to notice the ebb and flow of sensation, (our awareness, our breath), the act of self-stimulation becomes an internal dance of self-discovery and self-awakening.

When we approach self-stimulation with an attitude of  self-love and exploration, a new realm of personal connection, personal intimacy, and personal empowerment is awakened.

No longer does our sexual satisfaction lie in the hands of another!

We become responsible for our own sexual enjoyment, and we become personally empowered by the ability to meet our own needs for sexual satisfaction.

#2) Another  way in which self-pleasuring differs from masturbation is the time that we devote to the activity.

No more furtive rubbing under the sheets, choking back moans of pleasure, while we attempt to set a new world record for quickest climax!

Self-pleasuring is an act of love– we are literally making love with ourselves, and as we all know that takes time.

How much time is up to you, but I recommend setting aside a good half-hour to an hour at least, just to be with yourself and explore your sexual sensations.

#3) A third way in which self-pleasure differs from traditional masturbation, is in our motivation, our intention.

In masturbation, orgasm is the goal, and we are aiming to achieve that goal as quickly and quietly as possible.

With self-pleasuring, well, the pleasure itself is the goal…. and the self-discovery that arises naturally as a result of taking time and awareness to explore our sexuality.

My personal self-pleasuring practice has facilitated the healing of some of my deepest emotional wounds.

I have healed pains that I did not even know existed, and have been rewarded with greater self-connection, self-confidence, and an inner sense of personal empowerment that only comes from directly experiencing your darkest demons, and recognizing them as unclaimed fragments of your own soul.

It is a practice that I recommend to men and women professionally and privately, and an integral part in becoming a wholly integrated and healthy sexual human being. 

To learn more about how you can use the sacred art of self-pleasuring to heal your body, mind, and spirit, please visit me at femininemergence.com and get your free E-Book, 7 Keys to Sensual Satisfaction + 3 Secrets to Better Love and Sex.

Glories of God? Retain Your Semen!

As Gedun Chopel said, “if a man cannot retain his semen, a woman will never know the glories of passion”.

Glory by the way is translated as “lights, the lights of God”.

 Men are capable of 5 different types of orgasm!

Men can and DO orgasm without ejaculating.

Ejaculation is just ONE  flavor of orgasm!

In brief; a man squirts, losing his jing and passion, the loving is over, now he has to recover, which takes 4 to 8 days (by age).

He is turned inward energetically and… is not really available to his lover.

Also, she is unsatisfied and frustrated. The average time of penetration, until ejaculation is between 2 & 10 minutes. Think about it….it takes most people longer to brush their teeth!

By retaining he can make love for as long as he wants, and as he orgasms w/out squirt, he becomes stronger, healthier, and more present.

His orgasms feed his lover in many ways, and she is satisfied and happy w/ him.

He is not depleted and remains emotionally present w/out withdrawal.

This has a powerful effect on relationships!

The connection that results from such lovemaking is vastly deep and clear, blissful in fact.

And, he has no loss of desire for her, wanting her more than ever, and he is ready for her whenever she desires.

How do you think a woman will feel when a man takes several hours to pleasure and delight her in so many ways her head spins, and then he makes love to her until she has literally blown her mind?

Interested in finding out?

Article  written by Jacques Drouin

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I’ll Show You Mine….Take 2

With the goal of debunking society’s artificial standards for normalcy and beauty in female genitalia, Show Off Books released its first book, I’ll Show You Mine. A unique resource tool, ISYM contains 60 women shown in life-size full color photographs coupled with in-their-own-words stories of their experiences of sexuality in our society

 

 

Devis’ Vagina Monologue – Take 2

My Name is Devi and this is my Yoni.

Until very recently, my primary relationship with my Yoni was one of subtle shame, though if you had asked me at the time, I would have described the feeling as “shy”. Shy, and slightly embarrassed, and in absolute fear about communicating verbally to a man about which sensations were pleasurable, and which were not. I would not have described myself as sexually repressed in any way, quite the opposite in fact. I considered myself very sexually open and expressive, and probably was by conventional standards.  During the 2-7 minutes of sexual intercourse that is considered “normal” in conventional western sexuality, I remember experiencing pain in some areas of my yoni and thinking that was natural. I remember that just about the time I started to really FEEL pleasure during sex, the man would ejaculate, and it would be over. I remember having this internal sense of being rushed during oral sex, like I needed to hurry up and come as quickly as I could, because lord knows he won’t be down there for long! And gosh, if on the rare occasion he was, I felt embarrassed and uncomfortable, and had a sense of doing him a great disservice by taking so long….just fuck me now o.k?

I had my first Vulva massage at the age of 33. It lasted 5 hours and consisted entirely of my Tantric Healer massaging, exploring and pleasuring my vulva and vagina, while I verbally communicated to him about pressure, sensation, pleasure and pain. I discovered that numb and painful places inside the yoni are NOT “natural” and are indicative of subtle traumas held in the sexual organs. I discovered that every one of those physical pains had an emotional or psychological pain to go with it, and that with breath, touch, and awareness, those pains could be healed. I sat naked and upright in a chair, with the lights on and my legs spread wide open, and nowhere to hide for 5 hours. I discovered how difficult it was to stay present, and receive this touch that had no demand for a particular response. I saw for the first time how the subconscious sense of shame that I had about my yoni kept me from being able to express my pleasure openly, and completely inhibited my ability to give my partners guidance about what pressure, sensation, or stroke I would enjoy even more. Over the last 3 years I have discovered that my Yoni can have at least 5 different kinds of orgasms, and I can distinguish between an orgasm that occurs at the front, middle, or back of my g-spot. I regularly have anywhere from 10-15 orgasms in a row as easily as breathing, and I ejaculate regularly. My Yoni is now a gateway to mind-melting experiences of orgasmic pleasure and bliss, and I can confidently say that this is the potential of every Yoni on the planet.

My name is Devi and I am so honored and grateful that this is my Yoni.

I’ll Show You Mine is now available for pre-sale, to be shipped by the end of February.

Visit http://www.showoffbooks.com/products/ill-show-you-mine and enter the coupon code ADVANCE to receive the book for just $30 including shipping to anywhere in North America!

Practicing the Art of Tantric Healing Movement

The word “Tantra” generally refers to a series of sexual practices or yoga’s that have the effect of enhancing and sustaining sexual bliss for the purpose of spiritual realization.
Literally Tantra means, “to weave”- light and sound with form. The literal definition refers to meditative practices, which use visualization (light), mantra (sound), and the body of the practitioner (form), to achieve states of mental and emotional clarity, or enlightenment.
Tantric Movement classes are designed to incorporate both the literal and general meanings of the word Tantra. In the general sense we will be practicing specific yoga’s, (movements) that are designed to enhance sexuality by cultivating strength and tone of the entire body, most specifically the muscles associated with and around the pelvis. Strong pelvic and pc muscles are essential for enhanced sexual pleasure, as they support greater orgasmic ability, intensity, and control, for both men and women. Further adding to the benefit of these physical exercises is the use of the Jade Ben Wa Balls for women.
Ben Wa Balls greatly enhance the efficacy of Kegal type exercises, by giving the body an object to “grip” and tense around. According to Taoist practices, the energetic quality of Jade is yang, and by placing it in the most yin area of a woman’s body, helps to create a harmonious overall balance. Doing Jade Ben Wa Ball exercises is especially recommend for women who have given birth, or who have vaginal pain or dryness, as the energetic quality of the Jade acts to soothe, heal and strengthen.

In addition to these physical practices we will incorporate the Secret Tibetan Five Element Teachings. The Tibetan Five Element teachings are a form of chakra yoga, based on the elements of fire, earth, water, air and space. These are the very elements, which make up our human form and everything in our environment. Each of the five elements has a specific color, shape and sound, to which we will add the yoga of movement. Each element corresponds to a particular quality of movement, and the intention of these classes is to explore those variations in depth. Using these sounds and visualizations also has the result of activating, enriching, and healing all the energy centers of the body.

Tantric Movement classes combine these Esoteric Teachings with the other element of pure fun! Joy and pleasure are the inspiration that open the body to greater range of motion, greater flexibility, greater endurance, and greater health. All movement exercises in these classes are designed to be an exploration and a celebration of your Self, while deepening the connection between body, heart, and mind.

For more information regarding Tantric Movement classes please visit Devi Ward at Sex Passion Vancouver!

Tantric Movement

Cultivating Sensual Essence through healing movement and dance