Yin and Yang ~ The Key To Sexual Harmony

Sexual HarmonyYin = feminine, yield/opens, soothes, nurtures, cooling.
Yang = masculine, penetrates, protects, challenges, warming.

Understand this & you will know how to live masculine & feminine polarized in bliss & love.

Do not make the error of attaching to one, both are always merging and becoming the other.

Women must learn to be strong without trying to be like men. It was useful to gain equality and rights, but now it can be an impediment in our sexual culture.

The power of woman is Yin, it is actually stated in some Taoist texts that yin is more powerful, as yin can yield and open to absorb all yang, she is flexible, like a willow tree in the wind, not like an oak tree.

Oak challenges the wind with firmness, and big branches break. The willow just flows and bends, very few branches fall.

Look to the power of Tai Chi, no resistance, bends & flows around the challenge-energy of attack.

The more the challenge-energy attacks, the more there is for the tai chi to overcome that very force, or embrace it and bring it to harmony & peace. Do you see?

The power of woman is magnificent, but not if she tries to use male force against, or in relationship, with male force.

There will only be pain for both.

Women, dance in polarity, openness & yielding in love, blissful, strong at heart, balanced.

Men, protect her, challenge her with love and you will both grow, lovingly penetrate her deeply for long periods of time, hours, without ejaculation and she will treat you like a king, and you will retain your strength, unafraid of woman power.

If we do this the patriarchy that is terrified of women will fall. Then there will be harmony. Get to work!

Learn more about Lasting Longer for Men and The Art of Female Pleasure at www.betterloveandsex.com.

Help! What happened to my Libido?!

Female Libido One of the number one questions I receive from women all over the world is- “How can I increase my natural desire for sex?” i.e. how do I increase my libido?

I recently read a very insightful article addressing just this issue, which broke down the libido question into 2 categories- 1. desire for sex or 2. sexual aroual.

Libido is defined as- a person’s overall sexual drive or desire for sexual activity, which would look something like- your partner walks in the door and you want to jump their bones.

This is an entirely different issue than one of sexual arousal, which would look like- you jump your partners bones, but don’t really feel physically turned on, have much sensation, and/or have difficulty experiencing orgasms.

From my perspective (and the previously mentioned authors perspective) these are 2 very different scenarios, which will require very different strategies to correct.

Libido – (actual desire for sex)- can be affected by a number of different circumstances.

Personally, I find that once a possible hormonal imbalance or deficiency has been ruled out, the top 2 culprits for lack of sexual desire are:

#1. Stress, and

#2. Relationship issues such as- unexpressed emotions of hurt and/or resentment.

So when a woman asks me about how to increase her libido, I typically answer with a question of my own which is-

“How stressed out are you?”

Our modern lives are filled with an inordinate amount of ongoing daily stress triggers, keeping us in an almost constant state of fight or flight.

Being in this constant state of high alert wears down our body, causing physical aging and degeneration of tissue, and contributes to emotional irritability and lack of present moment awareness (think inner peace and joy!)

This can leave us feeling exhausted, depleted, and drained. I compare this to draining a battery, and as we all know batteries operate on electrical charge.

Think of your sexual desire in a similar way, as a current or charge of energy.

If you are feeling drained and depleted by the overwhelming demands of life, you probably won’t have a lot of extra juice available for frequent sexual connection.

Unexpressed feelings of hurt or resentment also drain the life energy out of a relationship, so chances are if you aren’t  “sexing” it’s because you aren’t saying something that needs to be communicated in order for you to WANT to be physically intimate with that person.

I also find that for many women sexual desire is more of an emotional impulse than a physical urge.

If you aren’t feeling emotionally connected to your partner, if there are walls and barriers between you, then the desire for sexual union can be almost entirely snuffed out.

Remember- sexual desire is the physical expression of  our heart and soul’s desire for union.

If desire for sex isn’t the problem, the next thing to look at is the arousal factor, which I will share some insights about next week.

Do you have questions about your sexual experience?

Would you like to learn more about your FULL orgasmic potential as a woman?

Contact me for a free consultation, or visit us at Better Love and Sex.com

 

How To Lasting Longer & Multiple Orgasms For Men

ag_Love_sensual_sex_Imagineglow_Love_helex_2_Randomness_amor_Couples_pic_Niki_couple_stories_sexy_love_gostaffo_erotic_art_pic_nice_black_white_me_and_you_Sen%5B1%5DSince I wrote the recent article on optimum frequency for male ejaculation, I have received many questions asking about the correct methods for successful semen retention to last longer in bed.

The main question men have is – HOW to do it effectively, and problems they have with the method they are using.

I remind all of you that Authentic Tantra is a secret oral tradition from great Lineages of masters, and you cannot learn Tantra from a book.

Anyone who possesses the real instruction is well aware of why it is secret and will not reveal it casually.

If they do they are irresponsible about others’ welfare. You don’t take someone who barely can paddle a surfboard big wave surfing, it won’t go well.

True instruction is based on progress. Soon you will be a big wave surfer ,so to speak, but first you must learn to paddle right or you will be stuck on the beach.

That being said, the urge to retain semen is human maturity, if you are an untrained 2 to 7 minute squirter (international average time of penetration), you are having sex like a 14 year old boy.

The method used to retain semen and last longer is critical.

Many men come to me and say something like “I tried semen retention, after a month I was so frustrated I gave up”.

My response is always the same… “what method did you use and did you orgasm without ejaculation?”

Not one ever had a non-ejaculatory orgasm, and all used about the same method.

Of course they were frustrated!!! I would be too. 

The basic default method most men try on their own or heard about but never studied is the “anal lock”method.

This involves tightening and holding the semen back with powerful contraction of the PC muscles.

Bottom line it is a shitty method.

Oh it will hold the semen back, but you will not enjoy it, and if you do it with a woman, they definitely do not enjoy it. I have had women come to me in tears because their partner used this method, that is how much they dislike it.

It can also over time lead to retrograde ejaculation which is not that good for us in excess, correct method has no retrograde aspect, instead the semen is transmuted into fabulous chemistries.

The anal lock uses tightness, contraction, witholding emotionally and energetically, all the very things that must be undone to actually orgasm without ejaculation!

So as you can guess I do not teach this useless method, in my opinion a waste of time at best, worse it can create blocks to bliss that require a lot of effort to overcome.

At Authentic Tantra, we teach 5 different semen retention methods for lasting longer in bed. Three are taught to beginners right away, the other 2 in advanced classes. These methods are simple, easy, natural, and very effective.

You can begin using them day-one with good result.

Some of my male students are having whole-body multiple non-ejaculatory orgasms within 1 or 2 years of learning!

This is an amazing result. The key lies in correct instruction and method.

They also were having other types of orgasm before the whole body orgasms began. Men are capable of 6 types of orgasm! Woohoo!

If you ejaculate you only know of 1.

Whole body orgasms for a man are an inconceivable experience. Trying to describe it is like describing any orgasm to someone who has never had one.

Have one and you will know a secret of the Tantric Arts of Love. And women will dig you!!!

The correct instructions are on-line at Authentic Tantra.

Please don’t tell me it costs too much. I watch people drop way more to go snowboarding for 1 day.

We are talking about your sexuality (and your lovers’) for the rest of your life!

I will give you all this core instruction:
All Tantra begins and ends in the heart, this is emotional, energetic and yogic. The fundamental principle of practice is “present relaxed awareness with focus”. Each of these 4 words comes with volumes of instruction, each an aspect of real Tantra, each must be in place , male or female, or good result will not be realized. Start now with each, the instructions for this are in “Intimacy Essentials” course.

In time it will become a single disposition, you will have peace of mind, happiness, calmness along with great sexual love and enjoyment.

I honour every single man who wants to learn this, by changing yourself you are changing the world in a powerful way, so thank you.

Peace and happiness,

Jacques Drouin

The Nasty Little Sexual Secret You Keep Inside….

Devi Ward Tantra for womenIf you don’t yet understand how vital consciously addressing your sexuality is for your emotional, mental, and physical health, and more importantly, for you to feel CONNECTED to your SELF/God/human essence, I am no longer on a mission to convince you.

Because somewhere, deep down inside, each and every woman knows she has a nasty little secret that she is afraid to admit to herself.

And this nasty little secret rises up again and again, only to be choked back and pushed down, after every marginally satisfying sexual encounter in which you are left with a dull ache inside after he “comes too quick”. Or you spend the entire encounter think “a little” to the left, but are too afraid of what he or she might think, to actually SAY IT out loud.

It shows up after every time you ALMOST reach orgasm, but not quite, because you can’t turn your mind off and actually FEEL your body.

It’s that subtle sense of confusion you have after he rolls off you when he’s done, (and you just started!), and the almost imperceptible but oh- so- familiar doubt and insecurity that arises when you hear about orgasms, and realize that you rarely have them…but should you be?

Is there something wrong with you because you can’t orgasm in the 2-7 minutes of penetration that he’s giving you?

Or that you JUST CAN”T  COME when he or she goes down on you, cuz they aren’t-quite-on-the-spot, and you think to yourself – “oh shit I’m taking too long, and they’re probably getting tired, and, and, and…”

This nasty little secret is the fact that you are unsatisfied, and you don’t feel like you have the right to be. You are secretly afraid that there is something wrong with you because you don’t/can’t orgasm during sex, or infrequently orgasm, or don’t have multiple orgasms, or any orgasm at all EVER.

You hear all this talk about sex and orgasm, and you shrivel inside, or do your best to ignore it, because it just makes you feel more inadequate.

So instead of acknowledging that you are unhappy with your current sexual experience, and that there could possibly be more, you push those subtle thoughts and emotions down, down, down, where they get lodged more and more deeply in your sexual tissue and emotional psyche, thus making you less sensitive to pleasure, less self-expressed, and even more trapped in your head.

Your sexual happiness and ability to receive PLEASURE directly correlates to your sense of self-worth and what you feel you deserve in life.

I know, I have been there, am there, and continue to chip away at the residue left there by past emotional trauma, cultural conditioning, and sexual abuse.

Deep, deep, and maybe not so deep down, you are aware that there is some vital key ingredient lacking in your life, and chances are you experience this lacking most keenly in regards to your ability to experience sexual pleasure.

And you KNOW this already.

So no amount of writing, or speaking, or reciting statistics is going to convince you.

Because until you are willing to admit to yourself that there IS a problem Houston, there is nothing I can do, or say, to win you over.

Until you are ready to LOOK at your SEX, look at it, just look at it.

Without judgement, or fear, or shame, or anything at all.

Just look objectively and say, “ya know, I would like this to be different. I would like this to be better than it is, because I deserve to feel PLEASURE, and I am willing to give myself a chance to experience more of that.”

Until you get to the point where you are ready to take action, and invest some time, some energy, and yes some money, there is nothing I, or anyone eles can do about it.

But when you are ready to bring that nasty little secret you are carrying out into the light, please know that there is help.

Please know that chances are you are not alone.

Know that it will take time, and sometimes some effort, and some commitment on your part to experience growth and change.

But know that the light at the end of the tunnel IS YOU.

It is the missing, forgotten fragment of your sexual soul, and it is calling you to come home.

Are you ready to heal yourself? Are you ready to come home?

Then pick up your copy of Shake Your Soul -Song!A Woman’s Guide to Self-Empowerment Through The Art Of Self-Pleasure, or Contact me to find out more.

2 Secrets To Creating More Intimacy in Bed!

What’s the secret to ongoing intimacy, in and OUT of the bedroom? Most couples agree that they feel more emotionally, mentally, and physically connected with each other, after a good romp in the sack. But generally that yummy feeling of … Continue reading

Female Sexual Revolution~Why It’s Time To Take Your Pu**Y Back.

There is a war going on my friends.

Make no mistake.

And it’s a war on women.

An organized assault against our sexuality, our personal expression, and yes my friends, yet again, our reproductive rights.

The very WHITE, (Caucasian), very MALE, and very mainstream republican party have proclaimed self-appointed stewardship over our pussies, and it’s time to take them back.

“But I already own my pussy” you may think.

Well I am here to tell you that although it may be physically attached to your body, it is not yours to do with as you wish, with whom you wish, and here’s why.

#1) You live in a culture that condones violence against sexually expressive women.
“Slut shaming” is a term used to describe the verbal and social denigration of a woman who engages in sexual activity outside of prescribed social moral boundaries.

Slut Shaming is verbally and emotionally violent. And it only occurs towards women.

Slut Shaming is a direct expression of social disapproval of a woman’s  SEXUAL behavior, (i.e. what she is doing with her pussy, with whom, & how much.)

You know for certain that slut shaming is occurring when women are being vilified for their sexual expression, (most recent example being Kristin Stewart) and the men with whom they have engaged sexually are completely ignored, and their “transgressions” are overlooked….“boys will be boys.”

#2) As a result of our need for social acceptance, we typically avoid engaging in behavior that our culture has conditioned us to believe is “wrong” , and that could cause us to be ostracized or ridiculed in any way.

This applies to our sexual expression more than anything.

As a result of this subconscious fear we hold back from exploring, expressing, or even fully enjoying our sexuality, and tend to let men (society) inform us what sexual behavior is acceptable for “good girls” to engage in, and what is not.

(i.e. she’s a slut, whore, tramp, hole, etc. for her sexual behavior, even though it was HIS cock that was being fucked and sucked. She’s a WHORE for doing it and even worse if she liked it!)

These typically wealthy, white men have been castrating women’s sexual self-expression for centuries, and now ridiculously, here it comes again, though it’s covered up in sugar candy coating of American Values.

Unless we want our next few years on earth to go down like the modern version of the inquisition, it’s important that we women become educated about what sexual empowerment really means, and not just for ourselves.

It’s vital that we women support each other in our sexual empowerment.

It will not work for one woman in the room to be embodying sexual empowerment, and the rest of the women to act out subconscious social-sexual programming and vilify her for it.

Participating in shaming a woman in anyway for her sexual self- expression is VIOLENCE, and if you are a woman doing that to another woman, you are perpetuating the bullshit patriarchal agenda of culture that condones violence against women. 

Women can be cruel to each other. It’s time for that to stop.

Conquer and divide is a great way of keeping women sexually disconnected & disempowered, and unless women unite as a WHOLE and reclaim their sexual sovereignty, this revolution of consciousness can not attain any true momentum.

The healing begins with communities of women, supporting each other in reclaiming connection to their sexual pleasure and celebrating unbridled sensual expression.

United we stand, divided we fall. Pussies of the world unite.

So what can you do?

#1) GET EDUCATED. Our sexual potential as women is fucking mind bowing. Literally. With over 8 (11 or more) kinds of orgasm that we can experience, very few of us have tapped our full orgasmic potential. Why is this important? Because sexual energy is LIFE energy. It opens your heart, frees your mind and heals your body. That is POWER! And it is YOUR power. Your birthright. Fucking claim it.

#2) Masturbate. Yes. Do it. Do it a lot, in a variety of different ways. Explore your vagina. Don’t wait for the right man to come along and give you permission to experience sexual pleasure. It is your for the taking, right now. The best way to own your pussy is to touch your pussy. A lot.

#3) Dance Sexy. Believe it or not we hold many of these subconscious restrictions to our sexual self-expression, in our bodies, particularly the pelvis. Opening your lower body with the 5 core pelvic movements and sacred erotic dance  will change your life, because you have to feel your vulva and vagina to do these movements.

You will discover the power of your pussy in a whole new way.

I like to say “Free your ass and your mind will follow.”

Our empowerment as women is directly related to the level of freedom and comfort we feel with our sexual expression.

If we are emotionally imprisoned by fear, guilt, and sexual shame, we are partially crippled as human beings, and will die without having realized our full personal, emotional, or spiritual potential.

I invite women everywhere to step up and step out of the psychological prison of sexual repression and claim your birthright to sexual pleasure.

The revolution begins in your vagina. Own it.

If you would like to find out how to take your pussy back with The 4 Principles of Self-Pleasure, visit me at Feminine Emergence.com and schedule a 4 Session Sensual Empowerment Coaching Program.

Let me know if you liked this post below, and share it! Spread the word and start a revolution:)

Just Call Me Shameless

Devi Ward Tantra Vancouver, Seattle North America

Recently I had a video banned by Youtube for being “too explicit”. Sexually that is. It’s a trailer clip for our online Authentic Tantra Education, which features live Yoni-G-spot massage demonstrations, featuring yours truly as the “Demo Model”. I also … Continue reading

Is Tantra Too Sexy For YouTube?

On June 15th, 2012 we officially launched our Authentic Tantra Online Education Program to a world-wide audience.

As part of our promotion, we enjoy having video trailers of some of the course content so that you, our audience, can have a better idea of what it is we are actually offering you.

We offer detailed instruction in G-spot-Yoni massage for sexual healing & awakening the multi-orgasmic potential of every woman.

As we are doing the demonstrations LIVE, we were thrilled to capture on film myself (Devi Ward) go through the process of an actual Authentic Tantric healing during the session.

We created a video trailer for this particular course that includes footage of the beginning and end of the G-spot-Yoni Massage healing process, so that people would have a chance to see the natural and authentic beauty of this process.

The video trailer contains NO visible nudity, no explicit sexual content, no genital visuals, nothing that is actually “pornographic” in nature.

What you DO see, is Tantric Breathing with my partner, heart-centered connection, emotional intimacy, and me crying and releasing emotional sexual trauma, while my partner lovingly holds space for healing.

And yet, YouTube banned this video, not once but TWICE, on the grounds that it’s content was “pornographic and inappropriate”.

I appealed their decision, as they clearly states in their content guideline that “YouTube makes exceptions regarding nudity for appropriate educational, documentary, artistic and scientific contexts, but only in limited circumstances where the purpose of posting is clear and any nudity it is not sexual in nature.

And yet, when I did a youtube search for “naked girls” these are some of the video’s that came up:

Big Tits Boob Ass Shakingwhich features a 12-16 year old girl in g-string panties, being explicitly sexually suggestive

Sexy Strip Tease Naked Porn Featuring a young woman stripping for a porn interview

Apparently these video’s are NOT considered abnormally sexually explicit or suggestive, and our Tantra Education Trailer is, maybe because you can see my partners hand covering my genitals.

Apparently that isn’t appropriate for public consumption.

What do YOU think?

Is our Tantra Trailer too sexy for YouTube, or is the problem on their end, with the powers that be?

Leave your comment below or share on Facebook!

Multiple Orgasms For Women:What You Should Know & Why!

Learn Tantra Online

There’s a lot of talk these days about Female Orgasms– The 11 different kinds vs. none, Is it easy, is it hard, should we focus on it, or not put so much pressure on ourselves for the “end goal” of climax. … Continue reading

The Best Orgasm of My Life – Female Masturbation Tips!

Authentic Tantra Workshops & Coaching

I continue to be amazed at how this Tantra stuff really works. Last night I seriously had the best orgasm of my entire life, by myself, all alone, just little ole me, myself, & I. And the surprising thing is … Continue reading