Sex After 50

Devi speaks with Joan Price about Sex After 50. Joan’s mission is to change society’s view of boomer/senior/elder sex, one mind at a time, and to help seniors get the information they need to maintain or regain a joyful sex life. Joan’s latest and most comprehensive book is The Ultimate Guide to Sex after 50: How to Maintain – or Regain! – a Spicy, Satisfying Sex Life.

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We discussed:

*Why we don’t see sexy seniors in the media?

*What misconceptions do seniors have about their own sex lives?

*What are some of the issues that seniors report to you as interfering with a good sex life?

*Sex toys for seniors?

*Tips for having better sex.

About Joan Price ~

Joan Price photo 2013 - square hi resJoan Price (http://www.joanprice.com) calls herself an advocate for ageless sexuality. She has been called other things by the media: “senior sexpert,” “the beautiful face of senior sex,” and—her favorite—”wrinkly sex kitten.” She is the author of the new Ultimate Guide to Sex After 50: How to Maintain – or Regain! – a Spicy, Satisfying Sex Life; the award-winning self-help book, Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex; and the sexy memoir, Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty. Joan continues to talk out loud about senior sex — partnered or solo – in speeches and workshops, and on her zesty blog about sex and aging – http://www.NakedAtOurAge.com.

Connect with Joan at:

Email address: joan@joanprice.com

Website address: http://www.joanprice.com/

Twitter:  @joanprice

LinkedIn:  Joan Price

Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/JoanPriceAuthor(@Naked at Out Age by Joan Price)

Award-winning blog about sex & aging: http://www.NakedAtOurAge.com

Available now: The Ultimate Guide to Sex After 50: How to Maintain – or Regain! – a Spicy, Satisfying Sex Life(Cleis Press)

 You can purchase Joan’s products at: http://www.joanprice.com/ and Amazon

 

What’s Love Got To Do With It? Lifting the Lid on Romance

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Devi speaks with Barry Selby, The Love Confidant and Author of 50 Ways to Love your Lover.

Listen Live and discover:

  • The trap of online dating
  • Why do the faces change but the experience stays the same?
  • It is not about the other person (objects in the mirror are closer than they appear).
  • Relationship rebound vs. make-up sex.
  • Having sex all day (the art of foreplay).
  • Having better sex by being apart (polarity is the magnet).
  • What to talk about after sex
Barry Selby is The Love Confidant, professional speaker, published author and relationship transformation expert who specializes in empowering his clients to create conscious, passionate and deep relationships. His heart and passion is to empower successful single women to embrace and own their authentic feminine power and attract the best in their men!
 
You can learn more about Barry at:
 

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Orgasm for Life!

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Listen as Devi Ward speaks with Jennifer Elizabeth Masters on her recently released book – “Orgasm for Life”
Jennifer and Devi will discuss:
-The biggest issue in long-term relationships
-Why women are afraid to ask for what they want
-Fantasies, role playing, and other ways to re-ignite the fires of passion
-Healing G-Spot trauma and other sexual trauma instructions
And so much more!!

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters has been on a healing journey for over 30 years.

In the process of healing her own sexual dysfunction, codependency, addictions and illness, Jennifer has developed several  programs to help empower women to love themselves fearlessly.

One of the biggest changes in Jennifer’s life is the total absence of fear, depression and loneliness. She has discovered when we come to loving acceptance of ourselves, we get out of our own way and stop trying to make things hap-pen and allow life to unfold.

Jennifer has worked with thousands of women and men, helping them heal from addiction, depression, lim-iting beliefs and unworthiness.

She is an author, inspirational speaker, hypnotherapist, Certified Life Coach, mother of 3, Master Energy Healer and ordained minister. As a Scorpio, she unabashedly says she has enjoyed sexual expression. She assists women to find the Sacredness in Sex. Married and divorced 4 times, Jennifer is an empower-ment and sex coach for women.

Her book, Orgasm For Life, came out at the end of May, 2014

Connect with Jennifer: Love Yourself Fearlessly BLOG

Twitter: twitter.com/JeniferEMasters

Facebook: facebook.com/JenniferElizabethMasters

LinkedIN: linkedin.com/pub/dir/Elizabeth/Masters

 

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The #1 Sexual Complaint For Women

Does this sound familiar to you? You often feel frustrated and unsatisfied with your orgasms. You think there must be something more to sex, but can’t ever “get there”. You struggle with having orgasms with your partner during sex, and secretly wonder if you might … Continue reading

How To Increase Intimacy In Bed!

Shetroit Sex and Sensuality Column

Devi Ward Column

Q – DEAR DEVI,

My partner and I have been together for more than 10 years. Although I like our sex and the way he touches me, there are times when I desire a little something different.

I’m wondering if you have any suggestions for how to communicate this to him – without making him feel inadequate, or that our sex isn’t good enough?

A – Yes, I do have some suggestions!

First off – I want to congratulate you on your long-term relationship and that you’re still having sex.

The latest statistics show that over 40 million marriages are sexless … so kudos to you!

Secondly – a great thing to keep in mind is that as we mature in life, our bodies change.

Our bodies are in a constant state of flux so depending on what’s going on for us mentally, emotionally, and physically, chances are our sexual sweet spot may not be the same from year to year, or even from experience to experience.

Hormone levels are different, energy levels fluctuate, stress levels may increase or decrease due to children, career, retirement etc.

All of these things will effect how we respond to sexual stimulation, and this is just as true for men as it is for women.

And this is where attitude is all important.

Sex is like a conversation – if we enter into it thinking that we already know what the other person is going to say – there is very little room for growth, expansion, or change.

Personally, I like to approach every sexual experience like an adventure or a “game” of sensual discovery, and I recommend setting aside some time for this by making a sensual “play date” once a week.

This sensual play date is the opportunity for you to begin exploring your new and ever changing bodies with a spirit of curiosity, innocence, and mutual pleasure.

I suggest taking some time to just give and receive sensual touch, while communicating about placement, pressure, and what feels the most delicious for each of you.

It’s kind of like you get to learn each other all over again, but as you are right now – after all those years of commitment, growth, triumph and challenges.

Taking time to explore your sensual pleasure will significantly increase the intimacy in your marriage, and may help resolve lingering intimacy problems, and smooth out relationship difficulties.

Thirdly – believe it or not, there are just as many men as there are women out there craving a little something “different.” And they are often just as afraid to ask for it!

It sounds as if what you are essentially wanting is to deepen your sexual intimacy, deepen the bond between you, and explore your mutual pleasure.

What loving partner wouldn’t want that?

 Find out more about how you can create more conscious loving intimacy, and have more passion and excitement in the bedroom at Better Love and Sex.com

Help! What happened to my Libido?!

Female Libido One of the number one questions I receive from women all over the world is- “How can I increase my natural desire for sex?” i.e. how do I increase my libido?

I recently read a very insightful article addressing just this issue, which broke down the libido question into 2 categories- 1. desire for sex or 2. sexual aroual.

Libido is defined as- a person’s overall sexual drive or desire for sexual activity, which would look something like- your partner walks in the door and you want to jump their bones.

This is an entirely different issue than one of sexual arousal, which would look like- you jump your partners bones, but don’t really feel physically turned on, have much sensation, and/or have difficulty experiencing orgasms.

From my perspective (and the previously mentioned authors perspective) these are 2 very different scenarios, which will require very different strategies to correct.

Libido – (actual desire for sex)- can be affected by a number of different circumstances.

Personally, I find that once a possible hormonal imbalance or deficiency has been ruled out, the top 2 culprits for lack of sexual desire are:

#1. Stress, and

#2. Relationship issues such as- unexpressed emotions of hurt and/or resentment.

So when a woman asks me about how to increase her libido, I typically answer with a question of my own which is-

“How stressed out are you?”

Our modern lives are filled with an inordinate amount of ongoing daily stress triggers, keeping us in an almost constant state of fight or flight.

Being in this constant state of high alert wears down our body, causing physical aging and degeneration of tissue, and contributes to emotional irritability and lack of present moment awareness (think inner peace and joy!)

This can leave us feeling exhausted, depleted, and drained. I compare this to draining a battery, and as we all know batteries operate on electrical charge.

Think of your sexual desire in a similar way, as a current or charge of energy.

If you are feeling drained and depleted by the overwhelming demands of life, you probably won’t have a lot of extra juice available for frequent sexual connection.

Unexpressed feelings of hurt or resentment also drain the life energy out of a relationship, so chances are if you aren’t  “sexing” it’s because you aren’t saying something that needs to be communicated in order for you to WANT to be physically intimate with that person.

I also find that for many women sexual desire is more of an emotional impulse than a physical urge.

If you aren’t feeling emotionally connected to your partner, if there are walls and barriers between you, then the desire for sexual union can be almost entirely snuffed out.

Remember- sexual desire is the physical expression of  our heart and soul’s desire for union.

If desire for sex isn’t the problem, the next thing to look at is the arousal factor, which I will share some insights about next week.

Do you have questions about your sexual experience?

Would you like to learn more about your FULL orgasmic potential as a woman?

Contact me for a free consultation, or visit us at Better Love and Sex.com

 

The Nasty Little Sexual Secret You Keep Inside….

Devi Ward Tantra for womenIf you don’t yet understand how vital consciously addressing your sexuality is for your emotional, mental, and physical health, and more importantly, for you to feel CONNECTED to your SELF/God/human essence, I am no longer on a mission to convince you.

Because somewhere, deep down inside, each and every woman knows she has a nasty little secret that she is afraid to admit to herself.

And this nasty little secret rises up again and again, only to be choked back and pushed down, after every marginally satisfying sexual encounter in which you are left with a dull ache inside after he “comes too quick”. Or you spend the entire encounter think “a little” to the left, but are too afraid of what he or she might think, to actually SAY IT out loud.

It shows up after every time you ALMOST reach orgasm, but not quite, because you can’t turn your mind off and actually FEEL your body.

It’s that subtle sense of confusion you have after he rolls off you when he’s done, (and you just started!), and the almost imperceptible but oh- so- familiar doubt and insecurity that arises when you hear about orgasms, and realize that you rarely have them…but should you be?

Is there something wrong with you because you can’t orgasm in the 2-7 minutes of penetration that he’s giving you?

Or that you JUST CAN”T  COME when he or she goes down on you, cuz they aren’t-quite-on-the-spot, and you think to yourself – “oh shit I’m taking too long, and they’re probably getting tired, and, and, and…”

This nasty little secret is the fact that you are unsatisfied, and you don’t feel like you have the right to be. You are secretly afraid that there is something wrong with you because you don’t/can’t orgasm during sex, or infrequently orgasm, or don’t have multiple orgasms, or any orgasm at all EVER.

You hear all this talk about sex and orgasm, and you shrivel inside, or do your best to ignore it, because it just makes you feel more inadequate.

So instead of acknowledging that you are unhappy with your current sexual experience, and that there could possibly be more, you push those subtle thoughts and emotions down, down, down, where they get lodged more and more deeply in your sexual tissue and emotional psyche, thus making you less sensitive to pleasure, less self-expressed, and even more trapped in your head.

Your sexual happiness and ability to receive PLEASURE directly correlates to your sense of self-worth and what you feel you deserve in life.

I know, I have been there, am there, and continue to chip away at the residue left there by past emotional trauma, cultural conditioning, and sexual abuse.

Deep, deep, and maybe not so deep down, you are aware that there is some vital key ingredient lacking in your life, and chances are you experience this lacking most keenly in regards to your ability to experience sexual pleasure.

And you KNOW this already.

So no amount of writing, or speaking, or reciting statistics is going to convince you.

Because until you are willing to admit to yourself that there IS a problem Houston, there is nothing I can do, or say, to win you over.

Until you are ready to LOOK at your SEX, look at it, just look at it.

Without judgement, or fear, or shame, or anything at all.

Just look objectively and say, “ya know, I would like this to be different. I would like this to be better than it is, because I deserve to feel PLEASURE, and I am willing to give myself a chance to experience more of that.”

Until you get to the point where you are ready to take action, and invest some time, some energy, and yes some money, there is nothing I, or anyone eles can do about it.

But when you are ready to bring that nasty little secret you are carrying out into the light, please know that there is help.

Please know that chances are you are not alone.

Know that it will take time, and sometimes some effort, and some commitment on your part to experience growth and change.

But know that the light at the end of the tunnel IS YOU.

It is the missing, forgotten fragment of your sexual soul, and it is calling you to come home.

Are you ready to heal yourself? Are you ready to come home?

Then pick up your copy of Shake Your Soul -Song!A Woman’s Guide to Self-Empowerment Through The Art Of Self-Pleasure, or Contact me to find out more.

3 Differences Between Masturbation and Self-Pleasure

Devi Ward TantraI read an article recently by a woman describing the differences between how men fantasize about us masturbating, and how most of us women actually do masturbate, which she described as a somewhat half-hazard, fast and furtive process.

Her description of female masturbation seemed very similar to the way a 14 year old boy probably masturbates, under the covers at night, stifling his sounds of pleasure, hoping -to -god no one comes in before he’s finished.

Hell, forget a 14 year old boy, that sounds like the masturbation modus operandis of most adults I know, both men and women.

Minding our P’s and Q’s…Privately, Quietly and Quickly!

Which got me to thinking about the differences between masturbation and self-pleasure.

Masturbation of course, would be the familiar scenario which I described above- one which 99.9% of adult humans can probably relate to.

So what is self-pleasuring? And how (besides the name), does it differ from our usual self-stroking?

#1) The first difference is my state of mind.

We have been taught as a society that self-stimulation is shameful, wrong, dirty, embarassing, etc.

We know that people do it, (especially men), and it’s accepted that they do, but it’s frequently thought of as a way to release physical and emotional “urges”.

Essentially a way to get rid of “too much” energy or emotional agitation. A form of stress release. Which yes, absolutely it is.

But that’s not ALL self-stimualtion can be used for- as just a genital pressure valve so to speak.

If we approach self-stimualtion from only that angle, our focus is mostly on the end result of the journey, and not on the sweet subtle communications of our body, which occur along the road to orgasm.

These subtle fluctuations of pleasure, energy and arousal are a sort of language, and when we take the time to notice the ebb and flow of sensation, (our awareness, our breath), the act of self-stimulation becomes an internal dance of self-discovery and self-awakening.

When we approach self-stimulation with an attitude of  self-love and exploration, a new realm of personal connection, personal intimacy, and personal empowerment is awakened.

No longer does our sexual satisfaction lie in the hands of another!

We become responsible for our own sexual enjoyment, and we become personally empowered by the ability to meet our own needs for sexual satisfaction.

#2) Another  way in which self-pleasuring differs from masturbation is the time that we devote to the activity.

No more furtive rubbing under the sheets, choking back moans of pleasure, while we attempt to set a new world record for quickest climax!

Self-pleasuring is an act of love– we are literally making love with ourselves, and as we all know that takes time.

How much time is up to you, but I recommend setting aside a good half-hour to an hour at least, just to be with yourself and explore your sexual sensations.

#3) A third way in which self-pleasure differs from traditional masturbation, is in our motivation, our intention.

In masturbation, orgasm is the goal, and we are aiming to achieve that goal as quickly and quietly as possible.

With self-pleasuring, well, the pleasure itself is the goal…. and the self-discovery that arises naturally as a result of taking time and awareness to explore our sexuality.

My personal self-pleasuring practice has facilitated the healing of some of my deepest emotional wounds.

I have healed pains that I did not even know existed, and have been rewarded with greater self-connection, self-confidence, and an inner sense of personal empowerment that only comes from directly experiencing your darkest demons, and recognizing them as unclaimed fragments of your own soul.

It is a practice that I recommend to men and women professionally and privately, and an integral part in becoming a wholly integrated and healthy sexual human being. 

To learn more about how you can use the sacred art of self-pleasuring to heal your body, mind, and spirit, please visit me at femininemergence.com and get your free E-Book, 7 Keys to Sensual Satisfaction + 3 Secrets to Better Love and Sex.

Sacred Passion

Sexual electricity infuses our every action. When our minds are freed from the tyranny of false virtue, social conditioning, and culturally enforced standards of normalcy, the true, innocent, and shameless expression of our inherent sexual nature is simply expressed.

Without thought, without intent, without fear, or guilt, or shame. We are simply, naturally, divinely, unavoidably sexual beings by nature…and there is nothing UN-sacred about us, at all…ever.

How do I choose to express my sexual energy? A better question would be, how do I not?

For once I became internally free of self, and societally imposed boundaries, there is no place the core essence of me does not go.

That is not to say that I act without discernment. Quite the contrary in fact.

The more sensually empowered I have become, the more connected I have become to the subtle, but flawless intuitive intelligence of my heart, my body, my womanhood.

As a result, I have learned to say “NO” to sexual encounters that were not truly nourishing for my heart.

Because of this, because I have learned to trust my internal “NO”, I am now free to wholly and truly trust my Yes. I trust my yes… I wholly and completely trust. My. Yes.

So how many are the myriad forms of sexual self-expression? Limitless. Limitless, as my sexuality infuses every word I say, every gesture, every nuance. The subtle language of self-acceptance underscoring every action, every thought, every breath.

I express my sexuality through song, through the heartfelt singing of my soul, as I fulfill my sexual appetite through the dancing, moving expression of sensual pleasure. Through the consciousness of my  breathe. Through every movement attuned to the song of rapture, singing in my heart.

I express my sexuality with passion, as I cry tears of loss, and mourn another promise broken, another dream denied, another hope unrealized…. and yet I continue to love, continue to dream, continue to open….eternally.Ever open. Ever. Open.

I expres my sexuality through scent. Inhaling, consuming, devouring the essence of man, ripe and pungent. Naked and raw. I devour his sex/flesh as I devour food, with great relish, laughter, and enjoyment.

I express my sexuality through taste. I love the slippery wet taste-touch of his tongue to mine. The hot ache for union unfulfilled. The torment of a hunger unfed and a thirst yet unquenched. Again, again, again. Can I taste you again…..

I express my sexuality with fire. Hot, smoldering flames of passion and desire.

I bring this passion to life. I bring this passion to all of life, and it is this passion that makes life sacred, raw, real, and utterly divine. For there is nothing more divine than the carnal, mindless merging of  body to body, and breath to breath.

To feel this deeply is sweet agony. Blissful & painful at once. It is what it is, to be human, really.

For the pain defines our pleasure, just as much as the pleasure defines our pain.

And in the realm of human existence, there is no escape from either.

Glories of God? Retain Your Semen!

As Gedun Chopel said, “if a man cannot retain his semen, a woman will never know the glories of passion”.

Glory by the way is translated as “lights, the lights of God”.

 Men are capable of 5 different types of orgasm!

Men can and DO orgasm without ejaculating.

Ejaculation is just ONE  flavor of orgasm!

In brief; a man squirts, losing his jing and passion, the loving is over, now he has to recover, which takes 4 to 8 days (by age).

He is turned inward energetically and… is not really available to his lover.

Also, she is unsatisfied and frustrated. The average time of penetration, until ejaculation is between 2 & 10 minutes. Think about it….it takes most people longer to brush their teeth!

By retaining he can make love for as long as he wants, and as he orgasms w/out squirt, he becomes stronger, healthier, and more present.

His orgasms feed his lover in many ways, and she is satisfied and happy w/ him.

He is not depleted and remains emotionally present w/out withdrawal.

This has a powerful effect on relationships!

The connection that results from such lovemaking is vastly deep and clear, blissful in fact.

And, he has no loss of desire for her, wanting her more than ever, and he is ready for her whenever she desires.

How do you think a woman will feel when a man takes several hours to pleasure and delight her in so many ways her head spins, and then he makes love to her until she has literally blown her mind?

Interested in finding out?

Article  written by Jacques Drouin

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