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|Recently a student of mine and I were discussing the revitalizing aspects of pleasure. She is a new mother, and she was expressing how transformative she has found it to prioritize her needs for self-pleasure- sexual and sensual- and how that has positively affected the happiness of her entire family.
We were chuckling at the irony, because when I tell most women that the key to experiencing more inner peace, contentment, and joy in life, is to schedule in 20-30 minutes a day of “self-pleasure,” they look at me like I’m crazy.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” they say. “I have a job, a family, a husband, a PTA meeting. I don’t have time for “self-pleasure”.
Which is exactly the problem!
As women, we are conditioned to prioritize giving to everyone and everything, above giving to ourselves. Our culture tends to glorify self-sacrificing female role models who override their own needs for the sake of their families, friends, co-workers, and children.
As a result of this societal “pressure”, many women feel guilty just thinking about taking time to meet needs for self-care, much less self-pleasure.
And yet one of the vital keys to effectively contributing to the lives of those we love, is honoring our own needs for self-pleasure, as a way of caring for and loving our selves.
When we don’t prioritize meeting our needs for self-love through self-pleasure, we are disconnected from our inner wisdom, and our true source of happiness, love, and joy.
This affects our relationships, our families, our business, our entire lives.
Plus- it just plain sucks walking around feeling tired, overwhelmed, and stressed out because we are not honoring our own needs for self-care.
Understandably, many women mistakenly think of “self-pleasure” in a sexual context only, but there are many different ways to meet needs for pleasure, (which I describe in my book as The 4 Forms of Pleasure,) which are- Physical/Sensual, Emotional, Spiritual, and Sexual.
I describe how consciously cultivating each of The 4 Forms of Pleasure on a daily basis can enrich physical health and vitality, help improve mood and balance emotions, increase libido, and enhance relationships.
Which all sounds great, but how do you begin prioritizing your own pleasure, and creating more balance, joy, and fulfillment in your life right now? It’s easy.
#1. Awareness– The first step in making any type of change is acknowledging to your self the need for change. Be honest with yourself about the fact that you would like to be experiencing more pleasure and joy in your life, and that you are ready to take action.
#2. Commitment- Look at your weekly planner and daily “to-do” list, and schedule yourself in. I recommend giving your self a good 20-30 minutes of time each day, and possibly scheduling in longer periods of time as often as once a week, and as little as once a month.
#3. Discovery- There are a variety of ways to meet needs for pleasure, such as hot baths, walks in the park, and shopping trips, and these are a great way to fill in the gaps. But if you are wanting to really draw upon the many physical, emotional, and relationship benefits of pleasure, I suggest learning more about The 4 Forms of Pleasure and how they can be accessed through The 4 Principles of Self-Pleasure. You might even be inspired to create your own daily “Pleasure Program.”
Women are designed to “pay it forward” so to speak. You know that saying “Educate a man and you educate one person; educate a woman and you educate a whole nation?”
Same goes for self-care…..
- From Hero to Zero:The Day My Orgasms Sucked! (deviward.wordpress.com)
- Your G-Spot 101:The What, Where & How It Works! (deviward.wordpress.com)