Have you ever asked yourself why you are spending so much fighting instead of enjoying each other? If you are a man, are you tired of hearing that she’s too tired to make love? If you are a woman, are … Continue reading
Female ejaculate is called “amrita”, which means “nectar of bliss”. If a woman is basically healthy and emotionaly balanced it is a healing elixir for men, (it actually is an elixir of longevity for men, so in such a case … Continue reading
Sex is fantastic. Aside from just feeling REALLY good, it’s also healthy for you physically, mentally and emotionally, i.e. boosting infection fighting cells by 20%, improving brain function, and increasing cell renewal.
That’s not to mention how it enhances the feelings of closeness between you and your partner, thus energizing the mutual connection and attraction between you.
But let’s face it, even the best sex life can get somewhat boring and routine over time. For many couples, the initial passion that inflamed the early days of their relationship, dwindles to a small ember over time, as we get bogged down in the day to day routine of “keeping it all together” in our lives. We lose connection; to ourselves and to our partners.
But, it’s that deep, juicy, intimate connection that is fuel for the fire of our sexual passion and pleasure! Here are 3 easy, simple, and effective Authentic Tantra methods for deepening that sense of intimate connection between you and your partner, and enhancing your sexual passion both in, and out of the bedroom!
#1) Breath together!
Our breath is the gateway to the present moment, and our ability to connect to our partner (and ourselves) lies here, now, in this moment.
Very often we go through our days so caught up in the rush of our modern lives, that we forget to breathe! Becoming conscious of our breath makes us conscious of our bodies, which in turn, makes us present to the moment.
How does this affect our sex? The more present we are in our bodies, the more aware we are of sensations, particularly sexual sensations. We aren’t able to truly experience the fullness of our pleasure, if we are off somewhere in our minds thinking about the dishes, our homework, or what so-and-so said at the office, right?
By slowing down, and breathing deeply, we connect with our bodies, we connect with each other, we connect with the pulse and rhythm of life itself.
#2) Eye-gazing, i.e. LOOK at each other!
They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul. For certain the eyes hold many truths about our inner thoughts and feelings. There is a discernable level of non-verbal communication that occurs when we meet eye to eye. Many people may feel vulnerable or shy about making eye-contact during lovemaking, and we encourage them to do it anyway!
There is a profound depth of intimacy and connection that occurs when we are able look deeply into our partners eyes, while making love. Emotional barriers gently dissolve, and we begin to relax and open to one another on a level much deeper than the conscious mind. Stress melts away, and we are able to feel connected to ourselves, to each other, to our bodies, and to our pleasure!
#3) Express Yourself!
I am continuously amazed at how both women and men will engage in the most intimate act that 2 people can engage in, and yet be terrified of talking to each other about their pleasure, during the act itself.
Sex is a team sport, and Tantric sex even more so! And the goal? Pleasure! The most fulfilling pleasure that we are able to experience in that moment. AND, just like any other “team-sport” the players MUST be in communication about what plays are definitely working, and which ones are not!
This does not require a continuous stream of conversation. Gentle loving tones of encouragement are all that is required, but be sure to use your words! Moans are nice, but they are NOT always a clear form of communication.
Many people we speak with find moans open to interpretation, and prefer a spoken “yes that’s really nice”, or “yes, I like that”, to the nebulousness of a well placed moan. Words of appreciation and encouragement are the magic keys to getting the most out of our intimate sexual connection. And if we ask for what we want (in gentle loving tones), we’ll probably get it!
By using these 3 simple Authentic Tantra methods, you can easily deepen the intimate connection between you and your partner, and transform your ordinary sex into an extraordinary garden of delightful pleasure, for you both!
Register for your FREE Authentic Tantra Online Education Course, and begin learning Authentic Tantra no matter where you are, in the comfort & privacy of your own home.
Sexual electricity infuses our every action. When our minds are freed from the tyranny of false virtue, social conditioning, and culturally enforced standards of normalcy, the true, innocent, and shameless expression of our inherent sexual nature is simply expressed.
Without thought, without intent, without fear, or guilt, or shame. We are simply, naturally, divinely, unavoidably sexual beings by nature…and there is nothing UN-sacred about us, at all…ever.
How do I choose to express my sexual energy? A better question would be, how do I not?
For once I became internally free of self, and societally imposed boundaries, there is no place the core essence of me does not go.
That is not to say that I act without discernment. Quite the contrary in fact.
The more sensually empowered I have become, the more connected I have become to the subtle, but flawless intuitive intelligence of my heart, my body, my womanhood.
As a result, I have learned to say “NO” to sexual encounters that were not truly nourishing for my heart.
Because of this, because I have learned to trust my internal “NO”, I am now free to wholly and truly trust my Yes. I trust my yes… I wholly and completely trust. My. Yes.
So how many are the myriad forms of sexual self-expression? Limitless. Limitless, as my sexuality infuses every word I say, every gesture, every nuance. The subtle language of self-acceptance underscoring every action, every thought, every breath.
I express my sexuality through song, through the heartfelt singing of my soul, as I fulfill my sexual appetite through the dancing, moving expression of sensual pleasure. Through the consciousness of my breathe. Through every movement attuned to the song of rapture, singing in my heart.
I express my sexuality with passion, as I cry tears of loss, and mourn another promise broken, another dream denied, another hope unrealized…. and yet I continue to love, continue to dream, continue to open….eternally.Ever open. Ever. Open.
I expres my sexuality through scent. Inhaling, consuming, devouring the essence of man, ripe and pungent. Naked and raw. I devour his sex/flesh as I devour food, with great relish, laughter, and enjoyment.
I express my sexuality through taste. I love the slippery wet taste-touch of his tongue to mine. The hot ache for union unfulfilled. The torment of a hunger unfed and a thirst yet unquenched. Again, again, again. Can I taste you again…..
I express my sexuality with fire. Hot, smoldering flames of passion and desire.
I bring this passion to life. I bring this passion to all of life, and it is this passion that makes life sacred, raw, real, and utterly divine. For there is nothing more divine than the carnal, mindless merging of body to body, and breath to breath.
To feel this deeply is sweet agony. Blissful & painful at once. It is what it is, to be human, really.
For the pain defines our pleasure, just as much as the pleasure defines our pain.
And in the realm of human existence, there is no escape from either.
As Gedun Chopel said, “if a man cannot retain his semen, a woman will never know the glories of passion”.
Glory by the way is translated as “lights, the lights of God”.
Men are capable of 5 different types of orgasm!
Men can and DO orgasm without ejaculating.
Ejaculation is just ONE flavor of orgasm!
In brief; a man squirts, losing his jing and passion, the loving is over, now he has to recover, which takes 4 to 8 days (by age).
He is turned inward energetically and… is not really available to his lover.
Also, she is unsatisfied and frustrated. The average time of penetration, until ejaculation is between 2 & 10 minutes. Think about it….it takes most people longer to brush their teeth!
By retaining he can make love for as long as he wants, and as he orgasms w/out squirt, he becomes stronger, healthier, and more present.
His orgasms feed his lover in many ways, and she is satisfied and happy w/ him.
He is not depleted and remains emotionally present w/out withdrawal.
This has a powerful effect on relationships!
The connection that results from such lovemaking is vastly deep and clear, blissful in fact.
And, he has no loss of desire for her, wanting her more than ever, and he is ready for her whenever she desires.
How do you think a woman will feel when a man takes several hours to pleasure and delight her in so many ways her head spins, and then he makes love to her until she has literally blown her mind?
Article written by Jacques Drouin
My Name is Devi Ward and this is the totally absurd story of how practicing Tantric Sex healed my soul.
I was born in 1974, the result of an inter-racial marriage. My father is of African, European, & Native American ancestry (otherwise known as black). My mother is half Polish & half Czechoslovakian, blond, blue-eyed, aka white.
My parents were married in Detroit, Michigan in 1969, just 2 YEARS after inter-racial marriage was no longer considered a felony offense in many American states.
I grew up in Maryland, New Jersey, and Michigan. My parents divorced when I was 6, and I lived with mom in predominantly white, working-class neighborhoods, while she struggled to make ends meet as a single parent.
I am what is called a “hi-yella”, my skin tone is very light, pale, even ivory colored at times. I burn easily, need sunscreen, and have sun-damage as a result of my negligence in this area.
My hair on the other hand is nappy, very curly, unruly, and a white woman’s nightmare!
Growing up, the images of feminine beauty that I aspired to all had long, flowing, straight, (usually) blond hair. All of my female friends were white, and boys liked them.
Even in 3rd grade, they were considered “pretty”, while I with the freakishly pale skin, nasty hair, and freckles was more than just an ugly duckling, I was a racial absurdity, and there was no one like me around for miles.
I was conditioned at a very young age to believe that white women were superior to me, and that white men were just plain superior.
My life experiences confirmed this belief on a regular basis, and the images of beauty that I was and still am exposed to, continue to re-affirm this culturally conditioned belief.
And then, something extraordinary and completely unimagined occurred. I started practicing Tantra. Sex that is. I started practicing Tantric Sex.
I started practicing CONSCIOUS SEX, meaning, I stopped chasing the romantic dream that had been spoon-fed to me through mainstream media as my “fulfillment”, and I chose to explore sexuality as a path of self-realization, self-awareness, and self-empowerment.
I began to experience levels of pleasure that were indescribable. I literally lost my mind, and entered altered states of consciousness, that were generated by physical-sexual-bliss.
I began unlocking emotional traumas that had crystalized in my body, and had severely inhibited my sense of self- confidence and self-worth as a woman.
Seemingly minor traumas such as; being described as repulsively ugly by these pretty white boys that society treated as young gods.
Doors that had previously been locked flew open, as a result of awakening to sensations of sexual bliss that are beyond description.
Beyond the rational workings of my conscious mind, into the as yet untapped depth of my subconscious, that which was hidden before rose to the surface, as a result of engaging the shadow of my sexuality …consciously.
I began to heal from wounds that I did not even know I had.
I began to reclaim sexual awareness… and awareness is POWER!
I wish that I could convey in words the depth and profundity of personal healing that has occurred simply as a result of practicing Tantric Sex.
It seems ridiculous, it seems absurd that SEX, SEX, conscious SEX could lead to the complete healing of wounds that were so deep and so painful, that I was unable to see them directly, and the scope of their effect upon my life and my choices.
What I discovered through Tantra, of all the weird and bizarre things, is that racism is a cultural condition.
It is a program that is introduced to us as a society on an almost imperceptible level, and maintained, reinforced again & again by mainstream media, and our cultural orientation as a whole.
Unless you are on the receiving end of the equation, you will never understand the effect of it. Never.
Just as those who have experienced the emotionally crippling effects of living in a culture indoctrinated with racism, will never understand what it is like to live without it’s shadow.
As a result of unraveling my social and cultural conditioning in relationship to sexual acceptance and normalcy, I began to unravel a much deeper level of subtle programing relating to race and social acceptance.
As I became sexually free and empowered, sexually satisfied and celebrated, a much deeper level of suffering became apparent, and the ways in which I had been sensually repressed as a woman became glaringly obvious.
The ways in which that occurred because of my race became even more so.
The divinely beautiful irony is that, the catalyst for all of this epic growth was the result of being brutally rejected by one of those superior white men, that I oh so adored, but could never quite convince of my worth.
I was in fact “dismissed”, to make way for “the great white goddess”, a woman I would always and forever fall short, according to my racial programming.
Day after day I was confronted head on with the internal belief of my inherent inferiority.
For I am not white, blond, wealthy, beautiful, and socially well adjusted. I am light skinned, nappy haired, beautiful yes, but socially maladjusted, and definitely NOT normal!
I live on the fringes of society and have yet to experience social acceptance at the level of mainstream white society.
Nor do I ever aspire to at this point. I have earned my freedom from the mainstream mind, and I intend to keep it.
I am now married to a white man, who through his love and emotional acceptance, has become my best friend, and my healer on many levels. We consider ourselves “poly-amorous”, we have the ability to love many, not just the romantic dream of one.
This for me is another example of healing and empowerment, for instead of hoarding and owning his love out of fear of scarcity or lack, as my partners friend, I truly desire his love and happiness, as well as my own.
We accept that though we may fill many needs for each other, we don’t fill all of them, and we celebrate and uphold our individual freedom to meet needs for connection, expression and joy with others and in other ways.
I continue to find it absurd that the deepest most profound healing of my life resulted from the simple practices of sexual communication, eye-contact, genital massage, and semen retention.
It’s stupid that something as obvious as SEX, could be a gateway to such internal emancipation.
The profound absurdity of my Tantric Healing, is that my fractured soul and the depth of my wound was not only revealed to me, but HEALED through simple, effective, conscious, SEX!!
I hope it will be for you as well, should you choose to walk upon that path.
Tantra…a loaded word in today’s society. Misconceptions abound, due to the many different interpretations of what Tantric practice actually is.
For some, Tantra is about learning to communicate more authentically in their relationships. For others it means learning to give & receive heart centered touch.
For many it is a path of sexual healing and sensual empowerment, and in some cases, Tantra is simply another word for hand-job.
In the Western world, what Tantra actually IS seems to depend on who is offering the service and their particular orientation to the path. I was fortunate as I embarked upon my Tantric Journey, to encounter instructors who had authentic methods to share, and were committed to engaging those methods for the purpose of healing, transformation, and liberation.
Tantra was for me, and continues to be, the sexual education that we all should have had, but didn’t get.
The absence of REAL sexual education in our culture occurs for a variety of reasons, first and foremost being the fact that, although many of the physiological and psychological benefits of Tantric sexual practices have been “scientifically” or medically proven, they are not common knowledge.
As a result, awareness of these methods (and their benefits), are not yet integrated into the conventional western approach to sexuality, which is where our so-called “sexual education” comes from.
The highest purpose for Tantric Sexual Practice, at least according to Vajrayana Buddhism, is the realization of voidness, or enlightenment.
This is achieved not through warm fuzzy feelings and deep eye-gazing (though those may occur), but through the application of physical techniques designed to enhance and prolong sexual pleasure, as well as meditative practices engaged, during the act of physical union.
Which are all great and wonderful things, but how does that actually lead to any sort of realization?
It was explained to me like this; at the moment of orgasm, the “winds” or moving energies of the genitals, brush the central channel, which is the core of our life force.When this happens, we get a glimpse or taste of voidness,.. i.e. enlightenment.
Think of that moment of orgasm, those few brief seconds of bliss, and that internal sense of freedom, expansiveness & joy… not to mention pleasure! That momentary experience is just a hint of what is possible.
Imagine extending that fleeting moment of orgasm to last several minutes, sometimes hours. Imagine experiencing the bliss of orgasm over and over again during one lovemaking session, and having the tools in your hands to repeat that experience as often as you’d like.
Quite a different state of affairs than our conventional “sex ed”.
And all of that is just a description of the mechanics, relating to the esoteric aspect of Tantra.
So what happens on the physical level during sexuality?
When human beings engage in sexual activity, the body begins producing a rich abundance of life-giving and anti-aging hormones and chemistries in the body. Some of these chemistries are not produced in any other way!
The very act of becoming sexually aroused initiates this bio-chemical process, and the more time we are able to spend in this state of sexual arousal and enjoyment, the more these life-giving chemistries are able to permeate our very cells.
A stronger immune system, increased cell renewal, improved brain function and prolonged life-span are just a few of the benefits you can count on experiencing as a result of Tantric practices.
And then, there are the emotional and psychological benefits that occur through Tantra.
We humans tend to store emotional and psychological traumas in the body and sexual organs. An emotional/psychological trauma can be as severe as physical or sexual abuse, or as seemingly minute as being emotionally rejected or hurt in some way.
Our life experiences leave imprints upon us, whether positive or negative.
The energy patterns of these imprints are held in our bodies and may inhibit our ability to relate freely with the present moment and our partner.
Tantric practices often take this into account, employing many methods of deepening the sense of connection and presence within oneself and partner. This facilitates an environment of safety and trust, which is essential for deep healing to occur.
In this environment, techniques such as vulva, yoni, g-spot and sacred sector massage can be practiced with depth and presence, and the potential for life-altering transformation can be realized.
Freedom of sexual expression, and fullness of sensual enjoyment can then be more easily and regularly experienced.
What I LOVE about Tantric practice, is that the methods are simple, easy and so very effective.
Yes, it takes courage to embark upon a path of growth. Whether you are interested in Tantra for “spiritual realization” or you simply want better sex, in order to get from here to there, some sort of growth must occur.
BUT, with the correct methods and tools, that growth can be rapid and ever so rewarding.
Like any new skill that we learn, Tantra takes time and practice (but what a FUN thing to practice!) and it is a commitment to a new way of life…a better way of life in my opinion. Time…practice… patience… growth, reward, joy, and an ever increasing sense of fulfillment in life.
I’ll buy that!
Register for your FREE Authentic Tantra Online Education Course and begin learning Authentic Tantra in the comfort & privacy of your own home, no matter where you are!
- Authentic Tantra 101~ Sexy in Vancity Radio Interview (deviward.wordpress.com)
- What is Tantric Sex? (deviward.wordpress.com)
- 10 Ways Tantra Can Improve Your Health and Relationships! (deviward.wordpress.com)
- 5 Surprising Benefits of Semen Retention! (deviward.wordpress.com)
- Why Erotic Dance is Sacred (deviward.wordpress.com)