What Does Prioritizing Pleasure Really Mean?

Devi Ward Pleasure ProgramsI speak quite often about the importance of creating time and space for self-pleasure in our daily lives.

I have believed in this concept strongly enough to write a book about it,  as well as it being a “practice” that I live and teach.

Yet recently I have come to discover a whole new meaning for the phrase “self-pleasure,” and come to understand what it reallly means to practice the “Art” of it.

Most people will agree that our day to day lives are busy, and we tend to keep our minds busy with the mental check list of all of things we need to get done.

And for many of us, myself included, self-pleasure was placed some where on that  mental check list of “more things to do.”

Grocery shopping. Check.

Self-pleasure.  Yep, check.

But the actual experience of “self-pleasure” was just one more thing to “fit in” to my already busy life.

Lately  though, I have been unable to live by my scheduled “to do” list, because my body has NOT been co-operating.

It has not allowed me to fullfill my daily scheduled routine of up at 8, tea until 9, meditate until 10, work until 5, etc. etc.

My body has been screaming for rest, and thwarting my attempts at forward movement in life with an array of abnormal symptoms such as headaches, nausea, insomnia, all of which have forced me to ride the ebb and flow of my available life-force energy throughout the day.

(For those of you out in blog land who may be concerned, there is nothing actually physically wrong with me. Just having a brief phase of energetic detox, which sometimes comes from doing too much Tibetan Dharma practice too fast, which I am inclined to do on many occasions.)

The point of all of this is- in being unable to rightly manage my to do list, and stay on top of my “Self-Pleasure Program” like a good little soldier, I have been given the opportunity to simply ask myself in each moment “what would give me the most pleasure right now?”

What would I LIKE to do, not what SHOULD I be doing to get my list done, to be in integrity with my practice, to move forward in life, etc. etc. etc.

I have been, shall we say, encouraged by recent events to completely let go of my should list, and so have for the last several days, moved purely from the place of WANT.

And from this, a beautiful and amazing thing has occurred.

I am actually getting MORE accomplished in less time, AND I feel good doing it.

Instead of operating from the heavy overwhelming cloud of “I have to get this done,” or some internal drive to achieve, accomplish, and be, be, be somebody, someone, something, (which by the way was a mostly subconscious thought stream, driving me like a cruel task master,) I have literally been flowing into each moment like an orgasm, using my pleasure in that moment as my guide.

Asking myself  in each moment, without judgement “What would give me the most pleasure right now?”

And sometimes the the answer will be; a bath, or a cup of tea and a Stephen King novel. Other times the answer will be; to write, to work, to share.

Several times in one day the answer was sexual self-pleasure and orgasms. Whatever the answer has been, I have allowed that to be the truth of what my soul wants in that moment, and honored it as a unquestioningly as the body’s need for water when thirsty, and food when hungry.

I believe our souls are starving for the nourishment that comes from non-doing, and THAT is what the art of self-pleasure is really all about. It’s not about putting one more thing on your “to do” list.

It’s about listening in and attuning to the subtle voice of your soul, and using the inherent wisdom of the body and it’s capacity for pleasure to be your guide.

It’s about being present with those activities in life that contribute to your inner sense of nourishment, self-love, and wholeness.

Now granted, the truth in our lives is that there are things to get done, obligations to fulfill (especially with children), and tasks to accomplish.

BUT, that does not mean that we have to sacrifice enjoyment.

We can find pleasure in the daily doings of life, and chances are when we aren’t experiencing pleasure in the moment, it’s because we’re not actually really present in that moment.

We’re usually thinking of what we have to do next on our to do list, right?

So I invite you to share below- what are some of your favorite ways to meet your needs for self-pleasure, that aren’t on your “to do” list?

Reclaiming Your Sensual Potential

Shake Your Soul-Song Devi Ward

From Chapter 2. of “Shake Your Soul-Song! A Woman’s Guide To Self-Empowerment Through The Art Of Self-Pleasure” We are born into this world of sensory experience~ sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell. Each of our 5 senses also relates to … Continue reading

Female Sexual Revolution~Why It’s Time To Take Your Pu**Y Back.

There is a war going on my friends.

Make no mistake.

And it’s a war on women.

An organized assault against our sexuality, our personal expression, and yes my friends, yet again, our reproductive rights.

The very WHITE, (Caucasian), very MALE, and very mainstream republican party have proclaimed self-appointed stewardship over our pussies, and it’s time to take them back.

“But I already own my pussy” you may think.

Well I am here to tell you that although it may be physically attached to your body, it is not yours to do with as you wish, with whom you wish, and here’s why.

#1) You live in a culture that condones violence against sexually expressive women.
“Slut shaming” is a term used to describe the verbal and social denigration of a woman who engages in sexual activity outside of prescribed social moral boundaries.

Slut Shaming is verbally and emotionally violent. And it only occurs towards women.

Slut Shaming is a direct expression of social disapproval of a woman’s  SEXUAL behavior, (i.e. what she is doing with her pussy, with whom, & how much.)

You know for certain that slut shaming is occurring when women are being vilified for their sexual expression, (most recent example being Kristin Stewart) and the men with whom they have engaged sexually are completely ignored, and their “transgressions” are overlooked….“boys will be boys.”

#2) As a result of our need for social acceptance, we typically avoid engaging in behavior that our culture has conditioned us to believe is “wrong” , and that could cause us to be ostracized or ridiculed in any way.

This applies to our sexual expression more than anything.

As a result of this subconscious fear we hold back from exploring, expressing, or even fully enjoying our sexuality, and tend to let men (society) inform us what sexual behavior is acceptable for “good girls” to engage in, and what is not.

(i.e. she’s a slut, whore, tramp, hole, etc. for her sexual behavior, even though it was HIS cock that was being fucked and sucked. She’s a WHORE for doing it and even worse if she liked it!)

These typically wealthy, white men have been castrating women’s sexual self-expression for centuries, and now ridiculously, here it comes again, though it’s covered up in sugar candy coating of American Values.

Unless we want our next few years on earth to go down like the modern version of the inquisition, it’s important that we women become educated about what sexual empowerment really means, and not just for ourselves.

It’s vital that we women support each other in our sexual empowerment.

It will not work for one woman in the room to be embodying sexual empowerment, and the rest of the women to act out subconscious social-sexual programming and vilify her for it.

Participating in shaming a woman in anyway for her sexual self- expression is VIOLENCE, and if you are a woman doing that to another woman, you are perpetuating the bullshit patriarchal agenda of culture that condones violence against women. 

Women can be cruel to each other. It’s time for that to stop.

Conquer and divide is a great way of keeping women sexually disconnected & disempowered, and unless women unite as a WHOLE and reclaim their sexual sovereignty, this revolution of consciousness can not attain any true momentum.

The healing begins with communities of women, supporting each other in reclaiming connection to their sexual pleasure and celebrating unbridled sensual expression.

United we stand, divided we fall. Pussies of the world unite.

So what can you do?

#1) GET EDUCATED. Our sexual potential as women is fucking mind bowing. Literally. With over 8 (11 or more) kinds of orgasm that we can experience, very few of us have tapped our full orgasmic potential. Why is this important? Because sexual energy is LIFE energy. It opens your heart, frees your mind and heals your body. That is POWER! And it is YOUR power. Your birthright. Fucking claim it.

#2) Masturbate. Yes. Do it. Do it a lot, in a variety of different ways. Explore your vagina. Don’t wait for the right man to come along and give you permission to experience sexual pleasure. It is your for the taking, right now. The best way to own your pussy is to touch your pussy. A lot.

#3) Dance Sexy. Believe it or not we hold many of these subconscious restrictions to our sexual self-expression, in our bodies, particularly the pelvis. Opening your lower body with the 5 core pelvic movements and sacred erotic dance  will change your life, because you have to feel your vulva and vagina to do these movements.

You will discover the power of your pussy in a whole new way.

I like to say “Free your ass and your mind will follow.”

Our empowerment as women is directly related to the level of freedom and comfort we feel with our sexual expression.

If we are emotionally imprisoned by fear, guilt, and sexual shame, we are partially crippled as human beings, and will die without having realized our full personal, emotional, or spiritual potential.

I invite women everywhere to step up and step out of the psychological prison of sexual repression and claim your birthright to sexual pleasure.

The revolution begins in your vagina. Own it.

If you would like to find out how to take your pussy back with The 4 Principles of Self-Pleasure, visit me at Feminine Emergence.com and schedule a 4 Session Sensual Empowerment Coaching Program.

Let me know if you liked this post below, and share it! Spread the word and start a revolution:)

66 Days Of Self-Pleasure

Devi Ward Tantra

On September 1st, 2012 I will officially begin my 66 days of self-pleasure, which could more accurately be titled 66 days of celibacy, except that I WILL be having sex. Lots of it. Just with myself and no-one else. For … Continue reading

Creating A Lifetime Pleasure Practice

Devi Ward Pleasure Program

Well we made it through the 21 Day “Shake Your Soul-Song” Pleasure Program. This was the first time that I have done something like this (and shared it with other people), so the experience was a bit of an experiment, … Continue reading