Devi speaks with Mariotta Gary-Smith. “It’s Your Pleasure & Mine! Find out what it means to be a sexologist & sexuality educator;the importance of sex education in a sex negative culture & the importance of honoring Women of Color in this … Continue reading
Devi speaks with Joan Price about Sex After 50. Joan’s mission is to change society’s view of boomer/senior/elder sex, one mind at a time, and to help seniors get the information they need to maintain or regain a joyful sex life. Joan’s latest and most comprehensive book is The Ultimate Guide to Sex after 50: How to Maintain – or Regain! – a Spicy, Satisfying Sex Life.
*Why we don’t see sexy seniors in the media?
*What misconceptions do seniors have about their own sex lives?
*What are some of the issues that seniors report to you as interfering with a good sex life?
*Sex toys for seniors?
*Tips for having better sex.
About Joan Price ~
Joan Price ( ) calls herself an advocate for ageless sexuality. She has been called other things by the media: “senior sexpert,” “the beautiful face of senior sex,” and—her favorite—”wrinkly sex kitten.” She is the author of the new Ultimate Guide to Sex After 50: How to Maintain – or Regain! – a Spicy, Satisfying Sex Life; the award-winning self-help book, Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex; and the sexy memoir, Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty. Joan continues to talk out loud about senior sex — partnered or solo – in speeches and workshops, and on her zesty blog about sex and aging – .
Connect with Joan at:
Email address: email@example.com
Website address: http://www.joanprice.com/
LinkedIn: Joan Price
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JoanPriceAuthor(@Naked at Out Age by Joan Price)
Award-winning blog about sex & aging: http://www.NakedAtOurAge.com
Available now: The Ultimate Guide to Sex After 50: How to Maintain – or Regain! – a Spicy, Satisfying Sex Life(Cleis Press)
Devi speaks with Barry Selby, The Love Confidant and Author of 50 Ways to Love your Lover.
Listen Live and discover:
- The trap of online dating
- Why do the faces change but the experience stays the same?
- It is not about the other person (objects in the mirror are closer than they appear).
- Relationship rebound vs. make-up sex.
- Having sex all day (the art of foreplay).
- Having better sex by being apart (polarity is the magnet).
- What to talk about after sex
Add Better Love and Sex to your RSS Feed!
Listen as Devi Ward speaks with Jennifer Elizabeth Masters on her recently released book – “Orgasm for Life”
Jennifer and Devi will discuss:
-The biggest issue in long-term relationships
-Why women are afraid to ask for what they want
-Fantasies, role playing, and other ways to re-ignite the fires of passion
-Healing G-Spot trauma and other sexual trauma instructions
And so much more!!
Jennifer Elizabeth Masters has been on a healing journey for over 30 years.
In the process of healing her own sexual dysfunction, codependency, addictions and illness, Jennifer has developed several programs to help empower women to love themselves fearlessly.
One of the biggest changes in Jennifer’s life is the total absence of fear, depression and loneliness. She has discovered when we come to loving acceptance of ourselves, we get out of our own way and stop trying to make things hap-pen and allow life to unfold.
Jennifer has worked with thousands of women and men, helping them heal from addiction, depression, lim-iting beliefs and unworthiness.
She is an author, inspirational speaker, hypnotherapist, Certified Life Coach, mother of 3, Master Energy Healer and ordained minister. As a Scorpio, she unabashedly says she has enjoyed sexual expression. She assists women to find the Sacredness in Sex. Married and divorced 4 times, Jennifer is an empower-ment and sex coach for women.
Her book, Orgasm For Life, came out at the end of May, 2014
Connect with Jennifer: Love Yourself Fearlessly BLOG
Add Better Love and Sex to your RSS Feed!
Thursday, Sept. 12th on Better Love and Sex Radio~ Join Devi and Sexy Challengers Janelle & Rob Alex as they share ways to spice up your sex life with spiritual nourishment.
Blending the sacred and the sensual offers couples the opportunity to deepen the bond between them, experience transcendental sex, gain access to the Divine, manifest wonderful things into their lives, connect with their partner in a much deeper way, and move their sex life to the next level.
Rob and Janelle Alex teach you how to recognize your boundaries of pleasure and then how to begin to expand beyond them.
Dr. Janelle Alex, Ph.D. and Rob Alex, M.Sc., Sacred Sensual Teachers, are passionate about empowering couples by teaching them how to combine the sacred and the sensual. They create Sexy Challenges: Sacred and Sensual Experiences for Lovers and Intimate Adventures: Sacred Ceremonies for Couples. They host the Sexy Challenge Heartbeats podcast. Janelle and Rob also teach how practicing sacred sex magick can help you manifest amazing things into your life from a new career to physical healing to conceiving a child to financial abundance. Sacred intimacy can transform relationships and transform lives. To learn more or read their daily blog visit them atwww.sexychallenges.com.
Connect with Janelle and Rob at:
|Recently a student of mine and I were discussing the revitalizing aspects of pleasure. She is a new mother, and she was expressing how transformative she has found it to prioritize her needs for self-pleasure- sexual and sensual- and how that has positively affected the happiness of her entire family.
We were chuckling at the irony, because when I tell most women that the key to experiencing more inner peace, contentment, and joy in life, is to schedule in 20-30 minutes a day of “self-pleasure,” they look at me like I’m crazy.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” they say. “I have a job, a family, a husband, a PTA meeting. I don’t have time for “self-pleasure”.
Which is exactly the problem!
As women, we are conditioned to prioritize giving to everyone and everything, above giving to ourselves. Our culture tends to glorify self-sacrificing female role models who override their own needs for the sake of their families, friends, co-workers, and children.
As a result of this societal “pressure”, many women feel guilty just thinking about taking time to meet needs for self-care, much less self-pleasure.
And yet one of the vital keys to effectively contributing to the lives of those we love, is honoring our own needs for self-pleasure, as a way of caring for and loving our selves.
When we don’t prioritize meeting our needs for self-love through self-pleasure, we are disconnected from our inner wisdom, and our true source of happiness, love, and joy.
This affects our relationships, our families, our business, our entire lives.
Plus- it just plain sucks walking around feeling tired, overwhelmed, and stressed out because we are not honoring our own needs for self-care.
Understandably, many women mistakenly think of “self-pleasure” in a sexual context only, but there are many different ways to meet needs for pleasure, (which I describe in my book as The 4 Forms of Pleasure,) which are- Physical/Sensual, Emotional, Spiritual, and Sexual.
I describe how consciously cultivating each of The 4 Forms of Pleasure on a daily basis can enrich physical health and vitality, help improve mood and balance emotions, increase libido, and enhance relationships.
Which all sounds great, but how do you begin prioritizing your own pleasure, and creating more balance, joy, and fulfillment in your life right now? It’s easy.
#1. Awareness– The first step in making any type of change is acknowledging to your self the need for change. Be honest with yourself about the fact that you would like to be experiencing more pleasure and joy in your life, and that you are ready to take action.
#2. Commitment- Look at your weekly planner and daily “to-do” list, and schedule yourself in. I recommend giving your self a good 20-30 minutes of time each day, and possibly scheduling in longer periods of time as often as once a week, and as little as once a month.
#3. Discovery- There are a variety of ways to meet needs for pleasure, such as hot baths, walks in the park, and shopping trips, and these are a great way to fill in the gaps. But if you are wanting to really draw upon the many physical, emotional, and relationship benefits of pleasure, I suggest learning more about The 4 Forms of Pleasure and how they can be accessed through The 4 Principles of Self-Pleasure. You might even be inspired to create your own daily “Pleasure Program.”
Women are designed to “pay it forward” so to speak. You know that saying “Educate a man and you educate one person; educate a woman and you educate a whole nation?”
Same goes for self-care…..
- From Hero to Zero:The Day My Orgasms Sucked! (deviward.wordpress.com)
- Your G-Spot 101:The What, Where & How It Works! (deviward.wordpress.com)
As some of you may know- I often share that one of the main reasons many women may have difficulty experiencing their full orgasmic potential, is a result of unresolved emotions or “traumas” locked in the genital tissue. This frozen … Continue reading
Q – DEAR DEVI,
My partner and I have been together for more than 10 years. Although I like our sex and the way he touches me, there are times when I desire a little something different.
I’m wondering if you have any suggestions for how to communicate this to him – without making him feel inadequate, or that our sex isn’t good enough?
A – Yes, I do have some suggestions!
First off – I want to congratulate you on your long-term relationship and that you’re still having sex.
The latest statistics show that over 40 million marriages are sexless … so kudos to you!
Secondly – a great thing to keep in mind is that as we mature in life, our bodies change.
Our bodies are in a constant state of flux so depending on what’s going on for us mentally, emotionally, and physically, chances are our sexual sweet spot may not be the same from year to year, or even from experience to experience.
Hormone levels are different, energy levels fluctuate, stress levels may increase or decrease due to children, career, retirement etc.
All of these things will effect how we respond to sexual stimulation, and this is just as true for men as it is for women.
And this is where attitude is all important.
Sex is like a conversation – if we enter into it thinking that we already know what the other person is going to say – there is very little room for growth, expansion, or change.
Personally, I like to approach every sexual experience like an adventure or a “game” of sensual discovery, and I recommend setting aside some time for this by making a sensual “play date” once a week.
This sensual play date is the opportunity for you to begin exploring your new and ever changing bodies with a spirit of curiosity, innocence, and mutual pleasure.
I suggest taking some time to just give and receive sensual touch, while communicating about placement, pressure, and what feels the most delicious for each of you.
It’s kind of like you get to learn each other all over again, but as you are right now – after all those years of commitment, growth, triumph and challenges.
Taking time to explore your sensual pleasure will significantly increase the intimacy in your marriage, and may help resolve lingering intimacy problems, and smooth out relationship difficulties.
Thirdly – believe it or not, there are just as many men as there are women out there craving a little something “different.” And they are often just as afraid to ask for it!
It sounds as if what you are essentially wanting is to deepen your sexual intimacy, deepen the bond between you, and explore your mutual pleasure.
What loving partner wouldn’t want that?
Find out more about how you can create more conscious loving intimacy, and have more passion and excitement in the bedroom at Better Love and Sex.com
This is a common experience for most women, and one which you may be able to relate to- the kissing is hot, the passion juices are flowing, everything is green light go, but when your partner starts touching your genitals, everything goes a little numb.
It’s as if the rest of your body is vibrant and alive with stereo sound, and the sensation in your genitals is sort of… muted.
Or- you are experiencing pleasure, pleasure, pleasure, and then…oops! Oh god, I lost it! Oh crap, where did it go? Now I’m taking too long,…. maybe if he/she just went a little harder/softer/sideways, etc. etc.
And now you’re lost in your head, trying vainly to recapture those sweet moments of bliss you were just starting to get a glimpse of.
Disconnecting from our pleasure and desire during the sexual experience is very, very, common for many women. Most likely every woman will experience varying degrees of presence during sex, at various times throughout each sexual encounter.
But knowing that doesn’t make it any more fun when it happens.
So the question is- why is it happening and what can you do?
There are a few different reasons for disconnecting during sexual intimacy, and usually one or more of these issues is at play in any given moment:
1) You are have trouble focusing and getting “out of your head”
2) You are distracted by the recurrent thoughts of what would feel better, but are unable to communicate it verbally.
3) You are worrying- i.e. am I taking too long, is my partner is getting bored, are my thighs too fat?
4) You are trying to orgasm, straining, trying to perform
5) You are feeling emotionally unsafe or uncertain
6) You are afraid to really feel the pleasure, because it might be over too soon.
7) You feel uncomfortable with your body, the way it looks, smells, sounds
8) You feel guilty or shameful about sexual pleasure (i.e. good girls don’t like/want/enjoy sex)
9) You were sexually abused or violated in your past
10) You experienced a deep heartbreak, painful break-up, or serious let-down from a past relationship
One of these issues is enough to make your sexual pleasure train derail, but the fact of the matter is- often there are a few of these “sensual saboteurs” going on simultaneously.
So what’s a girl to do?
Well the typical answer is to encourage people to “Be More Present” during sex.
Which I find really unhelpful given that we spend 90% or more of our waking time lost in thought- thinking of what’s next on our “to do” list, being driven by unconscious thoughts and desires – and yet somehow we expect ourselves to just magically know how to get, and stay present, during sex.
But I ask you – if you’re unable to be present in other area of your life, how could you expect to be instantly present for this area of your life?
If you want to be more present and connect to your body during sex, I invite you to practice BEING present and connected to your body, in every other moment of your life.
Which is a great thing to say, but how do you actually do it?
The quickest, fastest route for getting present in your body, and out of your head, is by focusing on your breath.
Wherever you are, in any moment, simply notice your breathing pattern.
First- Notice if you are taking short, shallow rabbit breaths, (which is a symptom of fight or flight response,) or are you taking nice full belly breaths. Most likely if you are lost in thoughts and worry about past or future, you are in “fight or flight” response.
Next- take a few nice deep conscious breaths, and FEEL your body.
Feel your lungs and belly expand with air, feel your ribcage lift and open to allow in more life essence. Feel the slow, sweet process of life happening within you.
Then- notice how your body feels. Are there any areas of tension or stress? Take a few moments to consciously breath into any areas of physical, emotional, or energetic tension. Bring your conscious awareness and your breath to these areas, and relax.
I invite you to do this exercise for 5-10 minutes, several times during your day. Some people call this meditation, or you can simply think of it as “body – awareness.”
After practicing being present for a while outside of your sexual experience, I invite you to do the same practice of self-awareness during your sexual experience.
Become aware of your breathing pattern during sexual pleasure, and consciously practice taking deep full breathes.
Instead of following thoughts in your head, follow the sensations in your body, and when they run into little obstacles, (or “blocks to bliss”), breathe into those areas of tension and dullness, and practice relaxing, softening, and letting go.
You may find a whole new depth of pleasure, connection, and joy in your sexual experience, and a profound intimacy with yourself and your significant other.
Wanna experience your FULL orgasmic potential as a woman? I invite you to contact me and begin creating your Personal Pleasure Program for awakening your true sexual pleasure potential!