Your Free Female Orgasm Guide Is Here! Get yours today at Devi Ward Tantra.com Are you frustrated and unsatisfied with your orgasms? Do you secretly fear there may be something “wrong” with you because you don’t orgasm during sex? Do … Continue reading
Do you know where your g-spot is? If so, do you sometimes experience a lack of sensation? Listen in as Devi Ward talks about why your g-spot is NOT broken (even if you don’t feel much), the importance of female arousal, and how … Continue reading
Thursday, October 10th on Better Love and Sex~ Join Devi and Explosive Sexual Healing Founders, Ben and Jen Rode, as they discuss how awakening a woman’s orgasmic potential can facilitate awakening in every other area of her life! Find Out: … Continue reading
Is it something every woman can do, or just a special few?
What’s it made from, and is it safe and healthy to ingest?
Listen in as Devi Ward discusses Female Ejaculation-Facts & Fiction, with Sexual Researcher, Art Noble.
Find out the science behind female ejaculation, where it comes from, how it is produced, and it’s very ancient and celebrated history, with evidence dating back to 7000 BC!
Art also share references to Female Ejaculation in the Bible!
Also- find out how you can begin experiencing the regenerative effects of female ejaculatory orgasm for yourself!
Listen to the show archive on Contact Talk Radio
- Female Ejaculation~Facts & Fiction! (deviward.wordpress.com)
As some of you may know- I often share that one of the main reasons many women may have difficulty experiencing their full orgasmic potential, is a result of unresolved emotions or “traumas” locked in the genital tissue. This frozen … Continue reading
I keep hearing people talk about “The G-Spot” in women.
I can’t seem to find mine, and have no idea what I’m even looking for.
Is there such a thing as a G-spot, and does every woman have one?”
If you don’t know where your G-spot is, don’t be alarmed.
It was only recently verified as a part of a woman’s physical anatomy in 2001, and not published as an actual “finding” until 2007.
If you DO know where your g-spot is, you may still have questions about how it works, and why it may seem to fluctuate in sensitivity at different points throughout your life.
I was clueless about what and where my G-spot was for most of my life.
It sounded like this amazing body part that some women were lucky enough to be born with, and some women (like myself at that time) were simply destined to live without it.
Luckily I was completely and totally wrong.
Yes Virginia, every woman has a G-spot.
It’s an actual part of your physical anatomy, and unless your genitalia departs from the norm, you are destined to have one.
You will “find” your G-spot about 1.5-to-2.5 inches inside your vagina, on the anterior (front) wall.
The flesh will feel slightly textured, or rough like corduroy or a cat’s tongue. If you make a “hook” with your finger, in a ‘come here’ motion and press up and into the body with slight pressure, you will feel the back end of the G-spot and maybe even some pleasurable “pressure” sensations.
The G-spot includes the entire area from the tip of where your finger is pressing, all the way to the vaginal opening.
Other than its location, the other important thing to understand about your G-spot is the way it works.
If you base your personal experience of your G-spot on some of the stories you’ve heard, you probably expect that the moment you touch it, you’ll be overwhelmed with the most explosive orgasms of your life and instantaneously reduced to a puddle of pleasure.
It doesn’t quite work that way.
Your G-spot is made up of spongy erectile tissue, which will literally engorge and become erect, kind of like a penis does, but on the inside. In fact – women have as much erectile tissue internally as a man does externally, but it can take anywhere from 20-45 minutes for that tissue to become fully engorged and for our bodies to become fully aroused.
So your G-spot isn’t necessarily going to feel amazing the moment you touch it.
It needs to go through a process of arousal, and this arousal usually comes from some sort of direct stimulation, be it a finger or sex toy or, depending on the angle, a penis.
The other thing to be aware of is that women store emotional, sexual, psychological “trauma” or “stress” in our sexual organs, specifically the G-spot area. So many women may feel numb, irritated, or even pain when that area is stimulated.
If this is your experience, please understand that this is completely normal and part of a healing process.
Given the lack of accurate sex education in our culture, it’s no surprise that most women and men are confused about their sexual anatomy and sexual pleasure responses.
I celebrate your courage in seeking to understand more about your body and beginning the process of reclaiming your birthright to pleasure.
- How To Ask For MORE In Bed! (deviward.wordpress.com)
Understand this & you will know how to live masculine & feminine polarized in bliss & love.
Do not make the error of attaching to one, both are always merging and becoming the other.
Women must learn to be strong without trying to be like men. It was useful to gain equality and rights, but now it can be an impediment in our sexual culture.
The power of woman is Yin, it is actually stated in some Taoist texts that yin is more powerful, as yin can yield and open to absorb all yang, she is flexible, like a willow tree in the wind, not like an oak tree.
Oak challenges the wind with firmness, and big branches break. The willow just flows and bends, very few branches fall.
Look to the power of Tai Chi, no resistance, bends & flows around the challenge-energy of attack.
The more the challenge-energy attacks, the more there is for the tai chi to overcome that very force, or embrace it and bring it to harmony & peace. Do you see?
The power of woman is magnificent, but not if she tries to use male force against, or in relationship, with male force.
There will only be pain for both.
Women, dance in polarity, openness & yielding in love, blissful, strong at heart, balanced.
Men, protect her, challenge her with love and you will both grow, lovingly penetrate her deeply for long periods of time, hours, without ejaculation and she will treat you like a king, and you will retain your strength, unafraid of woman power.
If we do this the patriarchy that is terrified of women will fall. Then there will be harmony. Get to work!
Arousal is your body’s ability to respond to sexual stimulation, meaning – when you do engage in sexual activity are you able to enjoy it, and does your body respond the way you would like it to?
If your answer is NO, fear not, for we have solutions at hand!
There are a few different factors that may be contributing to your body’s seeming lack of cooperation.
Again- it’s important to first rule out any possible medical condition such as hormonal imbalance or deficiency, and confirm that there is no anatomical obstructions of blood vessels, nerves, or arteries.
Once that is done, you can take matters into your own hands (so to speak) and look at these other possible options.
#1) Are you in your head?
Do you have a hard time shifting gears from day to day life, right into sexual response?
Of course you do. Who doesn’t?
Please always take into account the fact that –women especially need some time to “come down” and disengage from our overly active intellectual minds.
It’s completely unrealistic to expect your body to just instantly respond the minute stimulus is introduced.
Give yourself some time to get fully present in your body, and CONNECT with it, before demanding that it perform for you.
#2) Are you ready?
One of my favorite info tidbits to share with people is the fact that women have as much erectile tissue internally as a man does externally.
It just takes us 20-45 minutes to get a hard on!
Expecting your body to instantly respond to any sort of stimulation is again- unrealistic.
It’s kinda like trying to go for a 10 mile run without warming up at all, or driving your car in the freezing cold, without warming up the engine first.
Everyone knows the importance of warming up the engine before going on a long or even short drive. Same applies to your body’s sexual engine.
#3) What are you feeling?
Do have a lot of anxiety or “should’s” about sex?
How do you feel about your partner?
Are there unexpressed hurts between you?
Have you been sexually or emotionally traumatized?
Part of the beauty in the design of the human body is the fact that we store emotions in the cellular tissue.
It is a very normal and natural function to “desensitize “when are experiencing stress, fear, shame, hurt, guilt, or any kind of emotional pain.
Thoughts, emotions, and traumas that relate to sexuality or our sexual identity naturally get stored in the genital and pelvic region.
This is why regularly practicing exercises such as the 5 core pelvic movements and vulva massage, are so essential to our sexual health and ongoing sexual pleasure.
In my work, I find that so many women and men are in pain about some aspect of their sexual experience; whether it’s past abuse, religious conditioning, being poorly treated and undervalued in relationship, or simply don’t understand their body and the way it works.
If you have questions about your sexual experience, your sexual pleasure, or even just need some perspective, I invite you to contact me for a free consultation, or shoot me an email anytime.
Often the answer to these questions is a lot simpler and easier than one would think.
All it takes is a little education and a change in perspective.
I recently read a very insightful article addressing just this issue, which broke down the libido question into 2 categories- 1. desire for sex or 2. sexual aroual.
Libido is defined as- a person’s overall sexual drive or desire for sexual activity, which would look something like- your partner walks in the door and you want to jump their bones.
This is an entirely different issue than one of sexual arousal, which would look like- you jump your partners bones, but don’t really feel physically turned on, have much sensation, and/or have difficulty experiencing orgasms.
From my perspective (and the previously mentioned authors perspective) these are 2 very different scenarios, which will require very different strategies to correct.
Libido – (actual desire for sex)- can be affected by a number of different circumstances.
Personally, I find that once a possible hormonal imbalance or deficiency has been ruled out, the top 2 culprits for lack of sexual desire are:
#1. Stress, and
#2. Relationship issues such as- unexpressed emotions of hurt and/or resentment.
So when a woman asks me about how to increase her libido, I typically answer with a question of my own which is-
“How stressed out are you?”
Our modern lives are filled with an inordinate amount of ongoing daily stress triggers, keeping us in an almost constant state of fight or flight.
Being in this constant state of high alert wears down our body, causing physical aging and degeneration of tissue, and contributes to emotional irritability and lack of present moment awareness (think inner peace and joy!)
This can leave us feeling exhausted, depleted, and drained. I compare this to draining a battery, and as we all know batteries operate on electrical charge.
Think of your sexual desire in a similar way, as a current or charge of energy.
If you are feeling drained and depleted by the overwhelming demands of life, you probably won’t have a lot of extra juice available for frequent sexual connection.
Unexpressed feelings of hurt or resentment also drain the life energy out of a relationship, so chances are if you aren’t “sexing” it’s because you aren’t saying something that needs to be communicated in order for you to WANT to be physically intimate with that person.
I also find that for many women sexual desire is more of an emotional impulse than a physical urge.
If you aren’t feeling emotionally connected to your partner, if there are walls and barriers between you, then the desire for sexual union can be almost entirely snuffed out.
Remember- sexual desire is the physical expression of our heart and soul’s desire for union.
If desire for sex isn’t the problem, the next thing to look at is the arousal factor, which I will share some insights about next week.
Do you have questions about your sexual experience?
Would you like to learn more about your FULL orgasmic potential as a woman?