What’s Love Got To Do With It? Lifting the Lid on Romance

Listen in on iTunes and Subscribe!

Devi speaks with Barry Selby, The Love Confidant and Author of 50 Ways to Love your Lover.

Listen Live and discover:

  • The trap of online dating
  • Why do the faces change but the experience stays the same?
  • It is not about the other person (objects in the mirror are closer than they appear).
  • Relationship rebound vs. make-up sex.
  • Having sex all day (the art of foreplay).
  • Having better sex by being apart (polarity is the magnet).
  • What to talk about after sex
Barry Selby is The Love Confidant, professional speaker, published author and relationship transformation expert who specializes in empowering his clients to create conscious, passionate and deep relationships. His heart and passion is to empower successful single women to embrace and own their authentic feminine power and attract the best in their men!
 
You can learn more about Barry at:
 

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Female Ejaculation and Squirting for Health?

Listen in on iTunes and Subscribe! Is Female Ejaculation an essential component of a woman’s health and wellness? Devi speaks with Dr. Paul (aka Dr. Wellness) regarding his knowledge on the lymph system and female wellness, including topics such as … Continue reading

How To Have Great Anal Sex, Threesomes, Sex Addiction, and Being Dominated in Bed!

Go on a date with Devi and get answers to you most intimate questions! In this episode find out how to have GREAT anal sex the first time, what it means when you like being dominated in bed, how to … Continue reading

Get Back to Passion

Get accessible practical, potent, powerful tips to activate the passion in your relationships and your life! Eden Adele – Relationship expert and best-selling author, highly sought-after speaker, Premiere Passionator, and Love Liberator. Eden instills practical guidelines and direction into the … Continue reading

Regain that feeling: Sexual Healing after injury or illness

Devi speaks with Dr. Mitchell Tepper on the secrets to pleasure and orgasm discovered from laboratory studies with people who have spinal cord injuries and how to access great sex regardless of illness, disability, advancing age, or sexual dysfunction. Listen … Continue reading

Date with Devi – Vaginal Aromas, Precum, and Semen Retention for Men

Go on a date with Devi and special guest, Montique Stephan and get answers to all of your questions about sexuality, spirituality, health, and happiness! In this episode we talk about: * Vaginal Aromas- What IS your Vagina supposed to … Continue reading

The Arousal Factor…

The Arousal FactorLast week I discussed 2 aspects of “The Libido Issue”-  desire and arousal, and clarified the distinction between the 2.

This week we take an in-depth look at arousal.

Arousal is your body’s ability to respond to sexual stimulation, meaning – when you do engage in sexual activity are you able to enjoy it, and does your body respond the way you would like it to?

If your answer is NO,  fear not, for we have solutions at hand!

There are a few different factors that may be contributing to your body’s seeming lack of cooperation.

Again- it’s important to first rule out any possible medical condition such as hormonal imbalance or deficiency, and confirm that there is no anatomical obstructions of blood vessels, nerves, or arteries.

Once that is done, you can take matters into your own hands (so to speak) and look at these other possible options.

#1) Are you in your head?

Do you have a hard time shifting gears from day to day life, right into sexual response?

Of course you do. Who doesn’t?

Please always take into account the fact that –women especially need some time to “come down” and disengage from our overly active intellectual minds. 

It’s completely unrealistic to expect your body to just instantly respond the minute stimulus is introduced. 

Give yourself some time to get fully present in your body, and CONNECT with it, before demanding that it perform for you.

#2) Are you ready? 

One of my favorite info tidbits to share with people is the fact that women have as much erectile tissue internally as a man does externally.

It just takes us 20-45 minutes to get a hard on!

Expecting your body to instantly respond to any sort of stimulation is again- unrealistic.

It’s kinda like trying to go for a 10 mile run without warming up at all, or driving your car in the freezing cold, without warming up the engine first.

Everyone knows the importance of warming up the engine before going on a long or even short drive. Same applies to your body’s sexual engine.

#3) What are you feeling? 

Do have a lot of anxiety or “should’s” about sex?
How do you feel about your partner?
Are there unexpressed hurts between you?
Have you been sexually or emotionally traumatized?

Part of the beauty in the design of the human body is the fact that we store emotions in the cellular tissue.

It is a very normal and natural function to “desensitize “when are experiencing stress, fear, shame, hurt, guilt, or any kind of emotional pain. 

Thoughts, emotions, and traumas that relate to sexuality or our sexual identity naturally get stored in the genital and pelvic region.

This is why regularly practicing exercises such as the 5 core pelvic movements and vulva massage, are so essential to our sexual health and ongoing sexual pleasure.

In my work, I find that so many women and men are in pain about some aspect of their sexual experience; whether it’s past abuse, religious conditioning, being poorly treated and undervalued in relationship, or simply don’t understand their body and the way it works.

If you have questions about your sexual experience, your sexual pleasure, or even just need some perspective, I invite you to contact me for a free consultation, or shoot me an email anytime.

Often the answer to these questions is a lot simpler and easier than one would think.

All it takes is a little education and a change in perspective.

What Does Prioritizing Pleasure Really Mean?

Devi Ward Pleasure ProgramsI speak quite often about the importance of creating time and space for self-pleasure in our daily lives.

I have believed in this concept strongly enough to write a book about it,  as well as it being a “practice” that I live and teach.

Yet recently I have come to discover a whole new meaning for the phrase “self-pleasure,” and come to understand what it reallly means to practice the “Art” of it.

Most people will agree that our day to day lives are busy, and we tend to keep our minds busy with the mental check list of all of things we need to get done.

And for many of us, myself included, self-pleasure was placed some where on that  mental check list of “more things to do.”

Grocery shopping. Check.

Self-pleasure.  Yep, check.

But the actual experience of “self-pleasure” was just one more thing to “fit in” to my already busy life.

Lately  though, I have been unable to live by my scheduled “to do” list, because my body has NOT been co-operating.

It has not allowed me to fullfill my daily scheduled routine of up at 8, tea until 9, meditate until 10, work until 5, etc. etc.

My body has been screaming for rest, and thwarting my attempts at forward movement in life with an array of abnormal symptoms such as headaches, nausea, insomnia, all of which have forced me to ride the ebb and flow of my available life-force energy throughout the day.

(For those of you out in blog land who may be concerned, there is nothing actually physically wrong with me. Just having a brief phase of energetic detox, which sometimes comes from doing too much Tibetan Dharma practice too fast, which I am inclined to do on many occasions.)

The point of all of this is- in being unable to rightly manage my to do list, and stay on top of my “Self-Pleasure Program” like a good little soldier, I have been given the opportunity to simply ask myself in each moment “what would give me the most pleasure right now?”

What would I LIKE to do, not what SHOULD I be doing to get my list done, to be in integrity with my practice, to move forward in life, etc. etc. etc.

I have been, shall we say, encouraged by recent events to completely let go of my should list, and so have for the last several days, moved purely from the place of WANT.

And from this, a beautiful and amazing thing has occurred.

I am actually getting MORE accomplished in less time, AND I feel good doing it.

Instead of operating from the heavy overwhelming cloud of “I have to get this done,” or some internal drive to achieve, accomplish, and be, be, be somebody, someone, something, (which by the way was a mostly subconscious thought stream, driving me like a cruel task master,) I have literally been flowing into each moment like an orgasm, using my pleasure in that moment as my guide.

Asking myself  in each moment, without judgement “What would give me the most pleasure right now?”

And sometimes the the answer will be; a bath, or a cup of tea and a Stephen King novel. Other times the answer will be; to write, to work, to share.

Several times in one day the answer was sexual self-pleasure and orgasms. Whatever the answer has been, I have allowed that to be the truth of what my soul wants in that moment, and honored it as a unquestioningly as the body’s need for water when thirsty, and food when hungry.

I believe our souls are starving for the nourishment that comes from non-doing, and THAT is what the art of self-pleasure is really all about. It’s not about putting one more thing on your “to do” list.

It’s about listening in and attuning to the subtle voice of your soul, and using the inherent wisdom of the body and it’s capacity for pleasure to be your guide.

It’s about being present with those activities in life that contribute to your inner sense of nourishment, self-love, and wholeness.

Now granted, the truth in our lives is that there are things to get done, obligations to fulfill (especially with children), and tasks to accomplish.

BUT, that does not mean that we have to sacrifice enjoyment.

We can find pleasure in the daily doings of life, and chances are when we aren’t experiencing pleasure in the moment, it’s because we’re not actually really present in that moment.

We’re usually thinking of what we have to do next on our to do list, right?

So I invite you to share below- what are some of your favorite ways to meet your needs for self-pleasure, that aren’t on your “to do” list?

Female Sexual Revolution~Why It’s Time To Take Your Pu**Y Back.

There is a war going on my friends.

Make no mistake.

And it’s a war on women.

An organized assault against our sexuality, our personal expression, and yes my friends, yet again, our reproductive rights.

The very WHITE, (Caucasian), very MALE, and very mainstream republican party have proclaimed self-appointed stewardship over our pussies, and it’s time to take them back.

“But I already own my pussy” you may think.

Well I am here to tell you that although it may be physically attached to your body, it is not yours to do with as you wish, with whom you wish, and here’s why.

#1) You live in a culture that condones violence against sexually expressive women.
“Slut shaming” is a term used to describe the verbal and social denigration of a woman who engages in sexual activity outside of prescribed social moral boundaries.

Slut Shaming is verbally and emotionally violent. And it only occurs towards women.

Slut Shaming is a direct expression of social disapproval of a woman’s  SEXUAL behavior, (i.e. what she is doing with her pussy, with whom, & how much.)

You know for certain that slut shaming is occurring when women are being vilified for their sexual expression, (most recent example being Kristin Stewart) and the men with whom they have engaged sexually are completely ignored, and their “transgressions” are overlooked….“boys will be boys.”

#2) As a result of our need for social acceptance, we typically avoid engaging in behavior that our culture has conditioned us to believe is “wrong” , and that could cause us to be ostracized or ridiculed in any way.

This applies to our sexual expression more than anything.

As a result of this subconscious fear we hold back from exploring, expressing, or even fully enjoying our sexuality, and tend to let men (society) inform us what sexual behavior is acceptable for “good girls” to engage in, and what is not.

(i.e. she’s a slut, whore, tramp, hole, etc. for her sexual behavior, even though it was HIS cock that was being fucked and sucked. She’s a WHORE for doing it and even worse if she liked it!)

These typically wealthy, white men have been castrating women’s sexual self-expression for centuries, and now ridiculously, here it comes again, though it’s covered up in sugar candy coating of American Values.

Unless we want our next few years on earth to go down like the modern version of the inquisition, it’s important that we women become educated about what sexual empowerment really means, and not just for ourselves.

It’s vital that we women support each other in our sexual empowerment.

It will not work for one woman in the room to be embodying sexual empowerment, and the rest of the women to act out subconscious social-sexual programming and vilify her for it.

Participating in shaming a woman in anyway for her sexual self- expression is VIOLENCE, and if you are a woman doing that to another woman, you are perpetuating the bullshit patriarchal agenda of culture that condones violence against women. 

Women can be cruel to each other. It’s time for that to stop.

Conquer and divide is a great way of keeping women sexually disconnected & disempowered, and unless women unite as a WHOLE and reclaim their sexual sovereignty, this revolution of consciousness can not attain any true momentum.

The healing begins with communities of women, supporting each other in reclaiming connection to their sexual pleasure and celebrating unbridled sensual expression.

United we stand, divided we fall. Pussies of the world unite.

So what can you do?

#1) GET EDUCATED. Our sexual potential as women is fucking mind bowing. Literally. With over 8 (11 or more) kinds of orgasm that we can experience, very few of us have tapped our full orgasmic potential. Why is this important? Because sexual energy is LIFE energy. It opens your heart, frees your mind and heals your body. That is POWER! And it is YOUR power. Your birthright. Fucking claim it.

#2) Masturbate. Yes. Do it. Do it a lot, in a variety of different ways. Explore your vagina. Don’t wait for the right man to come along and give you permission to experience sexual pleasure. It is your for the taking, right now. The best way to own your pussy is to touch your pussy. A lot.

#3) Dance Sexy. Believe it or not we hold many of these subconscious restrictions to our sexual self-expression, in our bodies, particularly the pelvis. Opening your lower body with the 5 core pelvic movements and sacred erotic dance  will change your life, because you have to feel your vulva and vagina to do these movements.

You will discover the power of your pussy in a whole new way.

I like to say “Free your ass and your mind will follow.”

Our empowerment as women is directly related to the level of freedom and comfort we feel with our sexual expression.

If we are emotionally imprisoned by fear, guilt, and sexual shame, we are partially crippled as human beings, and will die without having realized our full personal, emotional, or spiritual potential.

I invite women everywhere to step up and step out of the psychological prison of sexual repression and claim your birthright to sexual pleasure.

The revolution begins in your vagina. Own it.

If you would like to find out how to take your pussy back with The 4 Principles of Self-Pleasure, visit me at Feminine Emergence.com and schedule a 4 Session Sensual Empowerment Coaching Program.

Let me know if you liked this post below, and share it! Spread the word and start a revolution:)

Why Erotic Dance is Sacred

Tantra in Vancouver & SeattleMy latest 8 week Sacred Erotic Dance Series began on April 18th, 2012.

20 women of all ages, shapes, sizes, and ethnicities filled the dance space to begin their own personal journey of sensual healing and empowerment, through Sacred Erotic Dance™.

After our first class ended, many of the women approached me to express their feelings of excitement, exhilaration, gratitude, and enjoyment for the emotional, mental, and physical healing power of this particular movement modality.

The conversation got me thinking about what makes Sacred Erotic Dance™ so, well…. Sacred?

There are a few different answers to that question, and they begin with understanding more about how the mind, body, & emotions work together, to create our internal and external experiences.

We are all familiar with the idea of holding tension, or stress in the body. In our shoulders, our backs, etc. We also store tension, stress, and emotions deep in the cellular tissue of our bodies. So not just the surface muscles are affected by tension, but the actual cells themselves hold trapped energy, tension, trauma, stress.

What causes stress? We often think that the cause of our stress is external, and that does play a part in it. But the true cause of stress is our relationship to our external life circumstances, not the circumstances themselves.

We are born into, grow-up, and live in a culture, (planet really) that has a challenging relationship with sexuality, and sexual expression.

As women, we are quite literally programmed with the subtle suggestion that “good girls don’t and bad girl’s do”.

Do what? Enjoy sex, embody sex, are empowered in sex. Right?

What subtle emotional reaction do you have when you think of “embodying sex”?

My mind immediately went to images of Jessica Rabbit, seductress, something smoky, alluring, and slightly dangerous.

Something to be regarded with caution, safe on the movie screen and in fantasy, but not real life. Something other than me.

This is an example of the subconscious, subtle programming to which I am referring. As women, we are conditioned to fear not just our own sexuality, but that of other women as well.

And we are terrified of fully embodying our sexuality (whatever that may look like), because of the largely unspoken cultural prohibitions against doing so.

Yet, we are encouraged through media that “sex sells” and we need to be “sexy” to get the right guy.

So it’s okay for us to look sexy (within certain social accepted boundaries), but not to truly own & “embody” fully empowered sexual expression.

Part of the issue is that we simply don’t have many role models for what healthy and empowered sexuality looks like.

Our sex symbols generally have some stigma associated  with them as well. Marilyn Monroe was an emotional mess, Angelina Joile is a homewrecker, etc.

And, the only women that we visually see fully engaging in sexual pleasure are porn stars, and the social stigma associated with that goes without mention.

So the point in all of this, is that, our emotional relationship to our sexuality is largely determined by our social and cultural conditioning.

And the conflicting messages that we receive growing up and living in this culture, result in a dysfunctional relationship to our sexuality as women, and an internal emotional landscape of  confusion, fear, guilt, repression, curiosity, you name it.

This emotional confusion get stored in the physical body, particularly the pelvic region, as this is where we store most of our sexual-life energy.

This emotional confusion works effectively to create a sort of psychological chastity belt, that then translates to how we move in our bodies, how we “embody”.

Sacred Erotic Dance is designed to be the medicine healing cure for this. Movement is medicine, Pleasure is medicine, so we combine both of those very potent remedies into one, to create freedom, transformation, healing and growth.

The foundation of Sacred Erotic Dance™ are the 5 core pelvic movements, combined with Authentic Tantra™ methods, breath, awareness, and presence.

Each of the 5 core pelvic movements is designed to open a new area of your body, expand your range of pelvic motion, shake off the psychological chastity belt of social sexual conditioning, and liberate you to your true sensual potential as a woman.

That is what makes Erotic Dance Sacred. 

It is a process of healing, transformation, personal sensual empowerment, sexual embodiment, and growth.

It is a process in which you will reclaim and reawaken aspects of yourself that have been latent, lain dormant under the unspoken suggestion by our society, that you as a women are not allowed to truly embody your divine feminine essence. That to fully embody your sexuality as a woman is not acceptable, and further more, it is not safe.

Through Sacred Erotic Dance™, you will begin to cultivate a relationship of playfulness, healthy curiosity, and self-exploration.

Together in class, we celebrate the sexiness of our sisters, as we reclaim the sexiness of ourselves.

It is an environment of co-creation, collaboration, encouragement and mutual support.

It is sacred sisterhood, the true relationship of fully empowered women.

What is Sacred about Sacred Erotic Dance? It can be unique & different for every woman, yet similar and congruent with the all.

Join me, Devi Ward and Feminine Emergence, and find out for yourself what makes Sacred Erotic Dance so very sacred.