As some of you may know- I often share that one of the main reasons many women may have difficulty experiencing their full orgasmic potential, is a result of unresolved emotions or “traumas” locked in the genital tissue.
This frozen energy often desensitizes the area, causing numbness, pain, or irritation.
I had an interesting experience recently that vividly demonstrated the validity of this approach to sexual awareness.
For some time now, my self-pleasure sessions have been very fulfilling, and had recently graduated to downright amazing!
I was having mind-blowing orgasms lasting 2, 5, even 10 minutes at a time.
My entire body was deliciously sensitive to the slightest touch, and I felt pleasure in places that I had never even know existed. It seemed as though I had broken through to an even greater realm of pleasure and orgasmic ability.
I was at the top of my “orgasm game.”
Then one day, out of the blue, I started processing some unresolved trauma from childhood. It didn’t seem super intense at the time, just remembering some incidents that had caused some emotional pain, and feeling a bit of regret and lack of closure.
This emotional “processing” happened to arise on my self-pleasure Tantra day, and though I wasn’t feeling super aroused, I decided to proceed with my scheduled session, thinking that some self-love was just the medicine I needed.
Boy was I wrong (or right depending on your perpective!) In contrast to the orgasmic bliss I had been experiencing up until just a few days before, this time my body was completely unresponsive.
My vulva massage sucked, and I could barely feel a thing. My pleasure was like a 2 on a scale from 1-10, and I couldn’t stay focused to save my life. I lost my count following my breath, and forget having any type of orgasm, much less a great one. My g-spot felt irritated, and I had a sharp stabbing pain in my A-spot area when I tried to go deeper.
So much for my orgasmic relief! It seemed as though I had gone from orgasmic “hero to zero.”
I share this experience with you to demonstrate a few things.
1) Just as I stated above- unresolved emotions that are stored in the body can and will affect our sexual responses, even when they sometimes seem completely unrelated. The emotions that I had been processing that day had absolutely nothing to do with my sexuality, or so I thought. They did not seem to be related in anyway to my sexual identity, and yet somehow, some of the emotional residue had been locked in my genital tissue, as evidenced by the numbness and painful response to touch.
2) Tantra is Medicine and healing is a life long process. We never know what we will uncover, or when it will arise. That’s why it’s sooo very important to not “judge” your sexual experience or compare yourself to others. If you are not as orgasmic as you would like to be, there is a reason for it- and it’s not because you are broken, or deficient in any way. It’s because your body is doing exactly what it is designed to do- hold energy until it is given the opportunity to release it. If you have the right tools to facilitate this process, it can happen with a lot of grace and ease.
So wherever you are in your journey of sensual awakening, the most important thing you can ever do, is exactly what I did during the experience I described above. Relax, and breathe, and let your body do its thing. Pleasure, orgasm, and healing are all natural functions of the body.
If we can just relax and get out of the way- and let nature take it’s course- our experience will continue to blossom and grow, and new insights, awareness, and understanding of ourselves will continue to arise, ever deepening our experience of self-love, acceptance, and wholeness.
- Your G-Spot 101:The What, Where & How It Works! (deviward.wordpress.com)